Food Crime

Jarams Donuts Brings Us Today’s Vocabulary Lesson

Spicy!

Jarams Donuts opened its lovely Lakewood location late last year. I drive by the place with some frequency but only just now noticed its sign. Jarams sells “artisan donuts.” We here at D Magazine call them doughnuts, but let’s not focus on that. What I’d like to focus on is that apparently Jarams is slaughtering skilled tradesmen (tradespeople) and filling doughnuts with their remains. Or sprinkling the tradespeople on top of the doughnuts. I call on the District Attorney’s Office to open an investigation into this matter immediately!

(An “artisan” is a person. “Artisanal” is the adjective used to describe items created by these people. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.)

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