No one on D Magazine’s staff can currently dunk a basketball on a regulation 10-foot hoop. Editor Tim Rogers has done it at least once before — I didn’t see it, because it was a long time ago, but I believe his story, even though he is often more physically confident than reality allows. Former staffer Adam McGill could jump surprisingly high (I think he played competitive volleyball?), but I’m not sure if he could dunk. The best I could ever do was get my hand over the rim, but that ship has sailed and sunk in the middle of the Atlantic and then somehow exploded on the ocean floor.
But we would if we could. And you would, too. Would you also like to dunk on a current member of the Dallas City Council? I mean, you’re probably not dreaming of that exact scenario, but if it presented itself, you wouldn’t pass it up. You’d take it to the rack with authority. Of course you would.
So, why, as soon as you read “dunk on a current member of the Dallas City Council,” did your mind immediately conjure the image of Philip Kingston? Specifically, the time Tracy McGrady yoked on former member of the Dallas Lone Ranger Heroes, center Shawn Bradley. It did, right? It’s OK. We’re all friends here. Except Tim. He will pretend to be, but don’t trust him.
Anyway, I think I know why. First of all, you know Kingston is competitive enough to try to block your dunk, or at least get in your way. And if you’re gonna dunk on someone, you definitely want to dunk on someone. Adam McGough is going to make a business decision and bail out of the paint as soon as he sees you coming. Dwaine Caraway might try one of those old man tricks and swipe at the ball as you’re going up. Sandy Greyson plays the game the right way and will of course try to take a charge, like some floor-slapping kid from Duke. Maybe Scott Griggs would go for the swat, but, honestly, I think he knows his limitations and will instead try to leak out for layup at the other end while you’re celebrating.
So, yeah, you’d dunk on Philip Kingston.