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Politics & Government

Rick Perry Explains His Weird Behavior In New Hampshire

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"Governor Perry, your speech in New Hampshire was ... interesting. Some people have speculated that you may have been under the influence. Can you --"
"Governor Perry, your speech in New Hampshire was ... interesting. Some people have speculated that you may have been under the influence. Can you tell us what was --"
"Whoa, whoa -- hold up now. Hold up."
"Whoa, whoa -- hold up now. Hold up."
"Are you calling me a drunk?"
"Are you calling me a dang drunk?"
"Chuck, can you believe the stones on this one? Calling me a GD drunk right to my face."
"Chuck Norris, can you believe the stones on this one? Calling me a GD drunk right to my face."
"Governor, if I may, you were behaving awfully strange. If it wasn't alcohol, maybe there is another -- "
"Governor, if I may, you were behaving awfully strange. If it wasn't alcohol, maybe there is another -- "
"Jesus fun-loving Christ. You, too? You believe this horse hockey, Chuck? Chuck -- was I drunk in New Hampshire?"
"Jesus fun-loving Christ. You, too? You believe this horse hockey, Chuck Norris? Chuck, Chuck, Chuckie Chuck. Chuck Norrissss -- was I drunk in New Hapmpmshire?"
"Ridiculous. Of course you weren't, RP."
"Ridiculous. Of course you weren't, RP."
"Now you wouldn't be lying to these people, would you Chuck Norris? Like, woo hoo, telling jokes?"
"Now you wouldn't be lying to these people, would you Chunk Norrissss? Like, woo hoo, telling jokes?"
" ... "
" ... "
"Ssssoo, who you gonna believe: Churk Norris or some videa on YouTube?"
"Ssssoooo, who you gonna believe: Churk Nordisss or some videya on YouTube?"
"Governor -- are you, are you drunk right now?"
"Governor -- are you, are you drunk right now?"
" ... "
" ... "
"Governor Perry?"
"Governor Perry?"
" ... "
" ... "
"Governor Perry! Are you drunk right now?"
"Governor Perry! Are you drunk right now?"
"OH MY GOD! I had one glass of Chardonnay! What are you, a narc?"
"OH MY GOD! I had ONE glass of Chardonnay! What are you, a narc?"
"Just one?"
"Just one?"
"What, you gonna call the cops if I say I had two?"
"What, you gonna call the cowpss ifff I sssay I had two?"
"Maybe."
"Maybe."
"Ah, hell."
"Ah, hell."
"Screw it. Beer me, Chuck Norris."
"Screw it! Beer me, Chalk Norbis."
"Wait, do you not want to finish of this Chard?"
"Wait, do you not want to finish off this Chard?"
"OF COURSE I WANT TO FINISH OFF THE CHARD, CHUCK NORRIS."
"OF COURSE I WANT TO FINISH OFF THE CHARD, CHUCK NORRIS."
Rick Perry The Fake Rick Perry

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