A Recap of Rick Perry's Debate Performance

“I will tell you, it is three agencies of government when I get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the –“

“Commerce … and Education …and –“

" -- what’s the third one there? Let’s see.”

” — what’s the third one there? Ah, hell.”

“EPA?”

“Heh, naw, it was Commerce and … and Commerce and … and … and …”

“Yes, Commerce and Education and …”

“…”

“…”

“… and Commerce …”

“Heh, well this is sort of embarrassing. I mean, I’ve done some embarrassing things in my day. Senior year at A&M, I switched the part in my hair for a whole semester. Man! I see those photos now and I just want to hide in a closet. Also, some folks still call me Crotch, which I’ve been told isn’t that awesome.”

“I swear to gosh I had this down earlier. I made up a song so I’d remember. It’s like a, what do they call it? A Johnny Mnemonic dealie. Well, I mean, I didn’t make up the song, exactly. It was ‘Amarillo By Morning,” by Mr. George Strait. I just changed up some of the words. Been singing the dang thing all day. Let’s see…”

(singing) “Amarillo by mornin’ / Up from San Antone / Everything that I got / Is just what I’ve got on/ When that sun is high in that Texas sky, I’ll be buckin’ at the county fair / Amarillo by mornin’ / Amarillo I’ll be there.”