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What to Do in Dallas Tonight: July 22

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Are you sick of hearing about Lady Gaga? Neither am I! The ubiquitous “Paparazzi” singer is in town for two shows, and I am assuming you got tickets for the first night, yes? Good. Now, I shall guide you through this very special occasion:

First, you have to look the part. Get your hair done did at a salon that specializes in blond coloring (see if Christopher Paul Salon can squeeze you in). Once you’ve achieved that lighter shade of pale, it’s time to address your wardrobe options. I’m thinking a jumpsuit and some killer heels (Gregory’s might be a good place to start). My, don’t you look marvelous?

The show doesn’t start until 7:30 p.m., and you’re going to need your energy for the night ahead. I’m not sure what Ms. Gaga eats for dinner, given that she’s from outer space, but I’d imagine it’s something exotic and fabulous–if it’s made of organic matter at all. In the spirit of that, why not lug your beast of choice–Ostrich? Zebra? Badger?–over to Kuby’s, which will happily process it for your consumption.

You’ve primped. You’ve feasted. Now, it’s time for the show, and I hope you enjoy it. After you emerge, resplendent with all things Gaga, head to the House of Gaga Afterparty and revel with other right-minded people.

Not a fan? Look here for other options.

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