Me? Â I can’t get behind any sport in which a 0-0 tie is an acceptable outcome. Sorry, but I need a winner if I’m going to invest hours in watching a game.
I realize that, in terms of the world’s population, I am in the minority. For those of you who share this perplexing love of soccer – or even if you just like having the excuse to drink at 8 a.m. that the World Cup provides – our nightlife editor Christine Sracic has put together a list of the best World Cup viewing spots in Dallas, broken down by where a country’s fans might be most comfortable. Â The next U.S. game is tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.
I won’t be there until FIFA enacts my program for overhauling the game:
1) Eliminate the goalkeeper position (no one can use his hands).
2) Cut the size of the goal in half.
3) For every 10 minutes of play in which no goals have been scored, let loose an additional live animal onto the pitch. This would start with something fairly easy to avoid (like a scorpion) and work up to more fearsome beasts. I expect this might top out with a grizzly bear or lion.
