1. One thief thought it was Christmas in March. The guy found himself a shiny armored car. He then found a nice, menacing mask and a fancy, blue hoodie and stole a bag from the car. But it wasn’t an early Christmas. For him, it was an early April Fool’s day. There was nothing in the bag. (I feel for the guy. I do. I just know that if I ever decided to be a thief, this is exactly what would happen to me.)
2. If you’re needing some extra cash, throw away the hoodie and mask. Just join a PTA. The PTA at Timber Creek Elementary School in Flower Mound recently discovered it’s missing $13,791. According to the lede of the story, this money was to go to fifth-grade graduation. Now. I don’t have kids. And it’s been at least 16 years since I was a fifth grader. But. What do you spend $14,000 on at a fifth-grade graduation? Do they wear caps and gowns? Send out invitations? Get diplomas? Parents, explain.
3. I’ve often thought, “Man. I want to drive through Fort Worth without a seat belt. Just for the heck of it.” Well, now’s my chance. Allegations say that Fort Worth policemen have altered tickets to indicate they were written after-hours in order to get overtime pay. Grants for programs such as “Click It or Ticket” have been suspended until the investigation is finished.
