Lupe Valdez Attacks Budget Pickle With Pickles

And ketchup, mustard, artificial sweetener, mayonnaise, and jelly. Forcing inmates to buy those items from the commissary (or forgo them altogether) will save $150,000, apparently. (Doing away with pickles alone nets $83K.) Valdez is going to have to figure out where to make other cuts; she’s only identified $2.3 million of the $6 to $7 million needed. My idea? Sponsorships. Something like this, maybe, except for prison jumpsuits.


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13 responses to “Lupe Valdez Attacks Budget Pickle With Pickles”

  1. Wes Mantooth says:

    “One of the sheriff’s revenue generating ideas includes consolidating the patrol division with the freeway unit to increase the number of deputies writing citations, which is projected to generate an additional $1 million in ticket revenue.”

    I’m sure this won’t result in a quota system. Surely our public servants wouldn’t stoop to perverting the justice system in order to make up for a budget shortfall.

    And how much in lawyer’s fees will the removal of condiments cost the county when the inevitable civil rights lawsuits start flowing in from the jailhouse lawyers’ claims that the right to condiments is guaranteed by the Constitution?

    Man, this budgetary thing is just a black hole.

  2. Zac Crain says:

    Excuse me! “Black” hole?

  3. Bethany says:

    That just won’t cut the mustard.

  4. yvonne says:

    Well, Zac I thought we couldn’t say black hole…what will lupe valdez say when the budget get balanced and is in…….THE BLACK? God forbid…oh, i mean goodness forbid.

    How should we say that….hopefully the stock market have another “black Friday”….I am worried….what to say ….what to say…

  5. amanda says:

    Why can’t they just grow their own food…hydroponics…I’m sure some of the inmates have experience with indoor gardening?

    I like the sponsorship idea, too. “This cell block brought to you by the makers of Viagra…” It has a ring.

  6. John M says:

    I’m absolutely shocked that tax payers were providing condiments in the first place and it took a budget shortfall for them to look at wasteful spending like this. Condiments are a luxury item without question, if the inmates want them they should pay for them.

    I am disappointed that no one in the past had noticed that they were spending $83k a year on pickles and thought to ask that maybe the inmates didn’t really need pickles and that tax payers shouldn’t have to provide them.

  7. IttyBittyWussy says:

    It’s a jail: If you get rid of the pickles, you just have to spend more on saltpeter.

  8. Kevin says:

    So, if we find out what American Airlines did after they removed the famous olive from the first class salads, we’ll know what the Sheriff will do next.

    Why not have the inmates grow their own produce? The excess could just be taken to the Farmer’s Market by some of the constables and the proceeds could go to debt reduction.

  9. Craig H says:

    What’s next, the fruits and nuts?…I mean in the jail not Lupe’s staff!

  10. Randy Brown says:

    Maybe I’m out of whack here, but are they trying to tell us they are spending nearly $230/day on pickles?!?

    How many inmates is she responsible for housing each day, and what in the hell is she feeding them?

  11. Accountant Here says:

    Something smells, well, pickled. I mean $83K….c’mon. I checked my wholesale inventory list for the price of a 5 lb. bucket of sliced pickles and based on that, they had to be going through 7 – 8 buckets PER DAY.

  12. Amy S says:

    Hey, I hear jalapeno’s are going cheap.

  13. Weird Warren says:

    Well cmon…. $83k in Pickles!! Thats govt waste for ya… I mean really… some pickle distributor is making BIG $$$

    Whats next?? A $500 dollar bottle of water??

    Where do the inmates get the $$ to buy these kinda things…