Local Cop Is Ready For Her Close-up, Reality Show

Merritt Patterson has this item about University Park Police Officer Suzette Elwonger’s pitch for a reality show. Cuff’em follows the life of Elwonger, a 12-year police veteran and part-time model. The synopsis promises:

She will win viewers hearts of all demographics and become America’s “law enforcement sweetheart”. Finally, a real female police officer people can relate to and will invite her into their homes each week with pride.

Elwonger already has an idea for a spin-off: Cush Cops. The whole pitch for that one is genius, but here’s the clincher:

How can a highly respected citizen get his son out of a public intoxication arrest when he was found naked in a local fountain adding soap to the water? How will the police department handle a new city ordinance banning soccer nets and basketball goals in the front yards of houses because they look gaudy? What may seem trivial and petty in one city is highly dramatic and over-the-top in a Cush town.

Update: A friend of Officer Elwonger called to clarify: There is no show in the works, no script, no nothing. Officer Elwonger discussed the idea for the show with a guy, the guy then made the site, and that’s all there is. I hope Officer Elwonger isn’t in trouble at her job, for the selfish reason that I drive through University Park on occasion. I certainly obey posted speed limits, but still. Jason Heid’s got more.


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17 responses to “Local Cop Is Ready For Her Close-up, Reality Show”

  1. brett says:

    another reason to loathe up and hp even more…even their friggin cops are hot!

  2. drew says:

    Regarding the spin-off: I know about the anti-net/goal ordinance, and kids have been putting soap in fountains for as long as I can remember, but is it true about someone nailing squirrels to fences there? Sheesh

  3. DM says:

    You know things are bad when they refer to residents of UP as… “the low end of society”

  4. jrp says:

    Officer Elwonger can ‘cuff me whenever she’s ready…

  5. Bethany says:

    Ruh-roh. According to Merritt: UPPD Chief Gary Adams said, “I am aware of it and dealing with it at this time.”

  6. JB says:

    I was sentenced by Judge Robertson to write a 5 page essay on why I shouldn’t have committed the (misdemeanor) crimes I did in middle school at McCullogh. I wonder if those are still kept in a vault somewhere.

    And why doesn’t this picture “blow up” when you click on it.

  7. El Rey says:

    I would so watch that! And I know I would be losing brain cells in the process, but it would be a good diversion…

  8. Chris says:

    yes, I think we need a larger picture to make a more informed decision.

  9. Tom says:

    Will Dolly Kelton be featured on “Cush Cops?” http://parkcities.beloblog.com/archives/2006/05/more_on_dolly_kelton_1.html
    For some reason, the name of the blogger on this post has been removed, but I can vouch for her work.

  10. Bethany says:

    Heh…that was my blog post.

    *sniff* You leave TDMN, and they wipe out all traces of your existence.

  11. Wes Mantooth says:

    I’m frankly disappointed that this thread hasn’t devolved to the point where someone has posted something linking their “weapon” and its “accidental discharge” when “arrested” by Officer Elwonger. Are we collectively off our game, or has Wick’s admonition had its desired effect?

  12. AK says:

    Proof kids at HP have it easier than we did, back in the day. When I was in school, we didn’t have a parking garage. Or hot cops to give us speeding tickets. We had to park on side streets and argue with average looking male cops.

    Kids today are too priveledged.

  13. Tommy Boy says:

    @AK – Kids today also have spell check.

  14. AK says:

    @Tommy Boy: HP education at work. The public school system failed me — I can’t spell that word. That and “definitely.”

  15. Tommy Boy says:


    Holy Schnikes!

    Sorry I didn’t mean to pile on – just caught me in a mood.

  16. Ray C says:

    Suzette is a wonderful broadcaster and represents the community well. You don’t have to wait for this reality show to see this beautiful officer. She already gives her time to the soccer community as part of a show titled “North Texas Soccer Insider” You can see the show by clicking below:


  17. Roscoe Purvis Coltrane says:

    Can I get a pat down?