MAVERICKS GAME NO. 5 LIVE BLOG

Right. Here we go. Lace ’em up. Refresh often. Have your popcorn ready.

8:09 — As mentioned previously in this space, I don’t have cable. So I’ll be one of the few watching TXA 21’s broadcast. What is it about Gina Miller that I find so delectable?

Pre-game meal consisted of pasta in vodka sauce with mild sausage. I’ll need the carbs for the energy later. Feeling good.

8:13 — Bob Ortegel ended his pre-game interview with Avery by saying, “I’m not going to end this interview with a question. I’m going to end it with a statement. I’ll see you Thursday before the game against Golden State.” Some people don’t like Ortegel’s home-team boosterism. I’m not one of them. I find it charming. Though not as charming as Gina Miller.

8:17 — It occurs to me that the Mavs won their only game of this series (game No. 2) after I turned it off in the fourth quarter to perform my hymeneal duties in the boudoir. Chance? More research needed?

Right now, Eric is at his daughter’s poetry recital, which will last another 45 minutes or so. I won’t lie. That makes me happy.

8:33 — Eight-year-old son eager to watch game, not happy with explanation of why he can’t. My mistake: telling him he could watch the game from the tip, at 8:30, till the first commercial break. Here we are, watching the Mavs warm up, and I’m thinking tip won’t be till closer to 9, thanks to TNT. The Boy is not happy with this explanation.

8:40 — Laura Green doesn’t do it for me as a sideline reporter. When it’s loud in the stadium, she yells with a thin voice that isn’t easy on the ears. Plus, I don’t think she’s as flexible as Gina Miller.

8:50 — The stadium is pumped and shouting, “Let’s go, Mavs!” Waiting for lights to go dim and “Eminence Front” to kick in. The energy is high, things feel good. So what does stadium announcer Humble Billy do? Kill us dead by saying, “Let’s go, Mavs!” I hate him more than anything. Even though it’s not nice to hate.

8:51 — One last pre-game observation: if Baron Davis and his Warriors pull this off, his beard will enter the pantheon of all-time great beards, along with Chuck Norris’ beard and George Zimmer’s.

9:05 — Eric is probably just now leaving his daughter’s poetry recital. Giggle. Still haven’t heard from him.

Andris Biedrins is awesome. How can you play in the NBA and shoot freethrows like that? Curious, though. Check out his official NBA page. Flat hair. Not the spiky stuff he’s wearing now. Says My Fair Lady (now seated next to me on the couch): “I like it spiky.” Disagree.

9:08 — While Dirk is shooting freethrows, the crowd is chanting, “M-V-P! M-V-P!” Listen, kids. It ain’t him. Nash. Say it with me: Nash

(Meanwhile, as I’m making this observation and then typing it, My Fair Lady says: “You go, baby! Look at you! Blog that. Oh, you’re so good. You’re the master. Tell ’em.” Can you hear the sarcasm? I can.)

9:33 — So when I recently bought Eric’s laptop and installed a wireless network at the house and told My Fair Lady that “we” bought a new computer, she took it way too literally. For the past half hour, she’s been checking her e-mail and boxing me out as I attempted to grab the machine out of her hands. Eric? Do you have another laptop I can buy? Are you still listening to poetry?

9:40 — Austin Croshere? Oh, no. If I were 6-10, I would be Austin Croshere. Which is to say, white, pencil-legged, going bald, and tall. We don’t need a tall me in the game.

9:43 — Josh Howard dunks. Dirk drives and scores. Mavs up by 18. Nelly calls timeout. I don’t understand. When the Mavs play like this, I can’t figure out how they’re down in this series 3-1.

9:50 — Man, oh, man. I just made a sweet drive to the rim. I’m awesome. Play me more often.

9:54 — My Fair Lady has retreated to downstairs home office, which we only use for business, so that she can conduct business. Now I’m e-mailing her downstairs, which is awesome. I wonder if Steve Blow sends e-mail to his wife from one room of his house to the other.

Eric just texted me. “Be home soon.” I think he means his house and not mine, but I’m not sure.

9:57 — I just hit a crucial 3-pointer. I love myself.

9:59 — First half ends with the Warriors within 7 points. Not many minutes ago, the Mavs were up 20. You know how that makes me feel? Like I might have to turn off the game and go make sweet Mavericks love to my wife.

10:03 — Halftime show on TXA 21. Gina Miller has donned her eyeglasses. Very sassy. Not as sassy as Charles Barkley, but still pretty sassy. If Eric weren’t still en route to a TV, he could tell me what the Chuckster is saying. Poor Eric.

10:08 — AT THIS POINT IN THE LIVE BLOG, ERIC NOW JOINS US. WE’LL BE CO-AUTHORING FOR THE REMAINDER.

ERIC (10:14) — Doesn’t surprise me that Austin Croshere has a few big threes in a crucial game. He’s come up big in the playoffs before. His 2000 run with Indy helped get them to the finals, and he won game three for them.

ERIC (10:16) — Halftime on TNT. They just showed a smoking hot girl in a Mavs jersey at the game imploring Charles to keep his Mavs jersey on (he’s been wearing a Dirk jersey). His response: “Well ya’ll better play better defense in the second half.” Fair point.

ERIC (10:24) — I stopped by the Tipperary Inn on the way home to say hi to some D empire staffers and play a little trivia while the game was on. The team’s trivia name: By The Beard Of Baron Davis.

ADAM (10:26) — Hi.

ERIC (10:29) — Complete acting job by Baron Davis. Reggie Miller said as much.

ADAM (10:28) — Reggie Miller said something about the Warriors quick comeback being “good for the psyche of the Mavericks.” Him and English ain’t friends.

TIM (10:31) — You people need to be aware of how you affect the game. An MFFLing FBvian writes in: “I feel concerned that the gap between the score is narrowing because I started watching the game. When I got home from the grocery store it was a 20 point game. Now, only 2 points. What should I do? Stop watching? I don’t want it to be my fault!” Stop watching! Yes! Return to the grocery store immediately! Damn you!

ERIC (10:36) — One of the most astute basketball minds I know is Zac Crain. He once told me, “Stack is great, but he never passes the ball once he touches it, and if he gets mad, he will try to take everyone off the dribble, and he’s a TERRIBLE ball-handler.” Watch. He’s right.

ERIC (10:38) — Can I point out here that we signed Devin George and Greg Buckner for their perimeter defense, which we DESPERATELY need here, and neither one is seeing squat for playing time.

ADAM (10:39) — One wonders what Matt Barnes will think of the neck tattoo when he’s, oh, about 60. Might look a bit odd.

ADAM (10:39) — Are the Warriors forced to wear hand-me-down shoes? Like, did Nike make a bunch of rejects and think, “I bet if we make ’em really, really shiny and maybe add some Velcro somebody will wear them.”

ERIC (10:45) — Will Barnes still have his quiet-storm ‘stache at 60?

TIM (10:47) — My Fair Lady just returned to the couch from the downstairs office. At a crucial point in the game, as I’m attempting to conduct an IM session with both Eric and Adam WHILE I watch the game, she says, “Remember at dinner when I said — ” At which point I had to interrupt her. “Honey, I’m kinda focussed here,” I told her. Then she started making fun of me: “So you really think people are that interested in your little boy chat?” I want to send her to the grocery store, too.

ADAM (10:52) — Am watching the game in glorious HD on TNT. What’s surprising is that TNT isn’t taking advantage of the opportunity to promote any of its new or returning programs. I mean, don’t they have a medical drama of some sort to promote? What about a terribly unfunny-looking sitcom? Maybe a cop show? Anything with Holly Hunter? Like I said, very surprising.

TIM (10:54) — From the same MFFLing FBvian: “It’s been proven. Started watching Seinfeld, and Mavs started scoring. I’ll see the score tomorrow.” Each of us has to do our part. Thank you.

ERIC (10:59) — I get Adam’s joke, Tim. I have cable. It was funny.

TIM (10:59) — I watched Sunday night’s game No. 4 at Adam’s house. So I get the joke, too, Eric. You dill. Meantime, I don’t like the way this game feels right now. Time to change mojo. Switching from red wine to beer.

ADAM (11:01) — So, um, how’s the Rangers’ season going? Just thought I’d ask. Now. For some reason.

ERIC (11:06) — “Devin Harris is not a THINKER! Devin Harris is a DRIVER!”

ADAM (11:07) — According to Pam Oliver, Avery’s advice to the team during a timeout with about nine minutes left was to focus “and think positive thoughts.” He’s relying on The Secret? Not good, man. Not good.

TIM (11:08) — HOLLYMOSESYOUGOTTABEKIDDINGME. What a frickin’ game.

ERIC (11:13) — Dick Stockton is an idiot. He’s an awful basketball announcer. He knows one theme — Dirk must come through! — and he sticks to that, no matter what is actually happening (big 3 by Croshere, 8 points by Harris, double teams on Dirk and quick passes to wide open guys). I hate nothing more than basketball announcers who don’t understand the game. No wonder he’s now a fourth-tier guy.

TIM (11:16) — For those who just saw that Davis-to-Richardson ally-oop: do the Rangers play tomorrow?

ADAM (11:18) — Reggie Miller just threw it to commercial; “Jason Richardson … the beneficiarly (major sic) … of the corner three.” It’s like he knows he’s making up words.

ADAM (11:18) — Also, thought I’d take this opportunity to point out FC Dallas plays a televised game a week from Saturday. Just sayin’.

ERIC (11:23) — Example of why he sucks: criticize Dirk, fine. But point out other things, like the fact that Stackhouse just took an awful shot while Dirk was wide open at the three-point line calling for the ball, and how many crunch-time turnovers Terry has had.

ERIC (11:25) — DIRK!

ERIC (11:26) — Why he continues to suck. His response to Dirk’s back-to-back threes: “You’ve got to be wondering where he’s been.” I have so many cuss words in my mind that Wick won’t let me type.

TIM (11:28) — Can’t blog. Can only watch. Very nervous. 48 seconds. So scared.

ERIC (11:32) — We believe.

ERIC (11:35) — Cleaning up pants.

ADAM (11:36) — Even though he’s fouled out of the game and his team is down 5, now 6 points, I still can’t shake the feeling that Baron Davis is going to hit a 7-point shot to win the game.

ERIC (11:38) — My daughter and, often, my wife ask me why I don’t just get a good night’s sleep and watch the highlights the next day. This is why.

TIM (11:38) — You guys aren’t watching TXA 21’s broadcast, so here’s what Mark Followill said at the conclusion: “There’s a reason they won 67 games. They’ve got guts. They’ve got heart. And they’ve got another game to play.” Great game. Seriously. I’m going to have a hard time going to sleep now. Eric, the Tipp is still open, right?

TIM (11:48) — After a long IM negotiation (and, yes, I know how my wife would characterize that), this is the way the night ends: Adam staying home, Tim staying home, Eric now leaving to join revelers at the Lakewood Landing. He’s not saying nice things to me for declining to join him. I’m saving my energy for Thursday.

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