A head-scratching FrontBurnervian sends us this story: two men entered a “Dallas-area” Petco and stole a kitty with a gun. (The men had the gun, not the kitty.) My theory: the two men are international diamond smugglers. They were about to make a big sale, when their stolen precious gems were accidentally knocked into a bowl of Meow Mix. Simon the cat chowed down, ate the jewels, and ran away. The two men tracked the cat, found it at the Petco, and decided to take no chances about its return. Or maybe they were just high.