DMN ON DELAY INDICTMENT: “DER, DU, DIDDLY-DEE!”

Forgive me in advance. The cool weather has me all excited and full of vinegar this morning. BUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AT DALLAS’ DAILY?

Tom DeLay gets indicted yesterday. Man, I turn right to the editorial pages this morning. I want some hot sports opinions. I want insight. I want something. First up is Carl “Is Such A” Leubsdorf. We’ve talked about him before. He’s the Washington bureau chief for the News. A big gun, right? An insider. In a column that reads like an eighth-grade report on DeLay’s political career, Leubsdorf makes the stunningly brilliant observation that:

Even if he is ultimately cleared, this may not end Mr. DeLay’s legal troubles … .

That’s the most insightful nugget from his column. Honestly. Unless you count the quote from the New Republic or the part where Leubsdorf wrote that DeLay, “where necessary, use[s] whatever means necessary to muscle measures through the House.” [sound of violent reverse peristalsis, followed by sound of orange juice fortified by one pureed banana hitting the floor]

And I know this post is getting too long, but then I turn to the official editorial in the News, the paper of record for the Southwest, George Bannerman Dealey’s baby. And you know what the editorial board thinks?

Democrat or Republican, no one wins when the political system gets rocked.

That’s the first sentence. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First, YES, sometimes the entire country wins when the political system gets rocked. If the rocking shakes loose crooked people, WE WIN! But, second, the general sentiment of the editorial, if I understand it correctly, is: “People are angry at each other. That makes us sad. We want to be happy again.” Here is the most inflammatory section of the editorial, if your lifestyle is too busy to read the entire thing:

Mr. DeLay’s lawyers say they want a speedy trial, and we agree. … The sooner a jury can sort out the facts, the better it is for our system. Meanwhile, thank goodness for the GOP rule that required Mr. DeLay to step down temporarily as majority leader. … It’s now all about facts, not Republicans and Democrats.

The News has taken the brave stance of calling for the facts. And quickly! [sound of dry heaves]

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