Ladies and gentlemen, and I use the terms loosely, it is officially raining burgers in Dallas. The latest twist on ground beef between two buns is Heart Attack Grill from Phoenix. I would have thought yesterday’s press release a joke if I hadn’t passed the original location in Phoenix a couple of years ago.
Their motto? “Treating anorexia since 2005.” Their objective? “Always keeping the patient’s budget in mind, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that all your meals are absolutely free once you reach the 350 pound goal weight. Imagine the joy of knowing you’ve finally achieved something!” Their sales pitch? “Doctors agree that continually cycling body weight up and down is one of the very worst things a person can do to themselves. That’s why our program is focused upon keeping your weight in an extremely stable, gradual, and constant upward slope.”
Whatever. You won’t have to wait long to be served a Quadruple Bypass Burger®, an order of Flatliner Fries®, a Butterfat Shake®, and a Taste Worth Dying For®–they are opening a location on Market Street in Dallas in June.
Looking for a job? “Imagine earning a great salary while giving away free food to people who weigh over 350 pounds!”
I have a sense of humor but this kinda makes me sick. Check out their website and give me your opinion. Have they gone too far or am I officially a fuddy duddy?