In this week’s episode, John Ross spends most of his time trying to prove to momma that he’s not his adulterous father’s son (which would make for an interesting afternoon of Maury), while exhibiting to the rest of the family that he is very much J.R.’s kid, in his acumen for shady business, skulduggery, and revenge. While Sue Ellen chews him out for being drunk on power, he fires back that she’s just plain drunk, as her bourbon-soaked breath would be enough to have Mel Gibson reach for a Tic Tac. After newly-minted Railroad Commissioner Bobby and Christopher stop by for some Nelson Muntz-ian gloating (Ha Ha) at the thwarting of his plans, Junior is steeled with resolve to come up with the capital to get Ewing Global the lucrative Arctic Circle oil leases.
Cue Señor Snark-o himself, Nicolas Trevino, to Junior’s rescue. Still smarting from Bobby’s thinly-veiled threat to make life difficult for his Texas holdings, Nicolas agrees to meet with John Ross to discuss getting one over on their mutual enemy. While bro-ing it up at a local watering hole, Junior runs into a childhood buddy who is celebrating his recent IPO in true douchebag fashion—with scantily-clad girls and booze. From this wannabe-Wolf of Wall Street, he gets a new idea—to take Ewing Global public and then buy up the controlling shares. To achieve that end, he enlists his wife Pamela; sweet-talks Sue Ellen by promising to forgo his extracurricular activities with Emma Ryland; and finally, offers Nicolas (who controls Cliff Barnes’ shares as proxy) a 2-percent taste of the Arctic action. The deal also gives Nicolas a chance to break free from Cliff if he throws in. With these alliances in place on the Ewing Global board, John Ross has the supermajority that would rout Bobby and Chris’ opposition.
Meanwhile, the “Cliff Barnes Get Ewings Go! Squad” (somebody call Funimation!) kicks back into overdrive. Trevino and Elena have come up short in their revenge plans lately, so they set their daggers for the Ewings’ weakest link, John Ross. Knowing firsthand Junior’s weakness for the ladies, Elena contracts the services of a detective agency to gather evidence of his infidelity. Zoe Greco plants a camera in Junior’s office, and his secretary Candace gets a text from her secret boss Harris Ryland to get crackin’ on her mission of obtaining John Ross’ DNA (sigh). Finally alone with her target in the Ewing office, she grabs the blue dress and makes sexy, but John Ross denies her advances. Ross tells her that he’s a happily married man, thus denying fans of another locally-based show, Cheaters, the inevitable confrontation between Junior, Pamela, Joey Greco, and Candace outside a bar on Knox. Voluptuous McHoneytrap makes her exit, but runs into Sue Ellen and fans the flames of distrust she carries for her own son even further.
Chris and Heather have their on-the-job romance (Southfork Ranch definitely does not have an HR department) interrupted by her ex-husband Bo, who suddenly has a job in Fort Worth and ditches their son on her. See ya in two weeks, kid! Chris rises to the occasion and whisks the moppet off for a day at The Other Happiest Place on Earth—his office at Ewing Global. Despite Chris’ lameness, he and the kid bond, scoring points with Heather. In return she provides some backstory on Bo. It seems he was once a rodeo star who suffered a bad injury, losing a promising career but gaining a nasty painkiller habit.
The next day, John Ross calls a meeting of the board and forces a vote on an initial public offering of Ewing Global. Bobby and son Chris are “nays,” of course. Put John Ross and his girl Pam down for “yeas”; Nicolas Trevino is also affirmative. Junior’s chances are approaching Parker Lewis-levels of anti-lose: all he needs is Sue Ellen’s vote and he is unstoppable.
With a convenient highlight reel of her son’s broken promises playing in her head, Sue Ellen votes no, putting an end to his latest power grab. Now seething at what he views as his mother’s betrayal, he confronts Sue Ellen at the ranch and puts his plans of retribution in order. For this he needs Emma’s help drawing from her grab bag of blackmail to bend a judge to his will, but Emma makes a demand that he has to lay to play and wheedles John Ross into, ahem, making an “oral presentation.” This transaction gets caught on video courtesy of a spy-cam, and now Elena has evidence of Junior’s screwing around.
Junior presents a hapless judge with photos taken at the Ryland bordello (apparently they have coupons in the DMN Sunday mailer) and gets His Honor in his pocket. Later cops show up at Southfork and present Sue Ellen, who has spent the entire evening hitting the sauce harder than Gordon Ramsay on crank, with a one-way ambulance ride to rehab. Now that he’s established her mental incapacity, John Ross tells Bobby that he has power of attorney over her shares and that nothing can stop him from taking the company public.
So there we are with the sixth episode of the season, “Like Father, Like Son.” Only two episodes left until the bloody-likely implosion of Junior’s plans and no word as yet on chances of a fourth season from TNT. While waiting with bated breath, here are some tidbits to chew on:
- The suddenly-rich jagoff that John Ross meets in Da Club is Hunter McKay, grandson of J.R.’s nemesis from the late-period old school Dallas, Carter McKay. Carter was played by George Kennedy, who film fans will remember as Cool Hand Luke’s main prison homie, Dragline. It is rumored online that the character is due to make an appearance in the new series, and we’ll verify that as soon as we can.
- Speaking of childhood friends, it’s established that John Ross, Christopher, and Elena all grew up together on the ranch, Elena’s mami being the Ewings’ housekeeper. How did Lil Junior and Lil Chris not notice Elena’s new brother, Joaquin/Nicolas Trevino?
See y’all in seven!