Big Rich Texas, Episode 3 Recap (07/31/11)

Keep up with all the latest Big Rich Texasrecaps here.

Last week on Big Rich Texas, beauty pageants were won, and golf instructors were humiliated. Where else could Style Network possibly go to give viewers the impression that ladies in Dallas drink the blood of poor people for breakfast? To a fashion show in Uptown and a Collin County backyard full of Greek statues, that’s where.

Episode 3 begins in Fort Worth at Woodhaven Country Club, where we’re still pretending it’s elite and in a great part of town. There’s a yoga class in progress, and Leslie is quite taken with Kurt, the instructor. Kurt clearly doesn’t hang out with AJ the golf pro from episode 2 because if he did, Kurt would be running down Interstate-30 with an exercise mat under his arm.

Leslie is flirting with Kurt. It’s kind of cute.

OMG! What is that beeping sound? Make it stop. Oh, I should’ve known. It’s Pamela’s joy-dar, and it’s about to explode.

Why would Pamela care if Leslie is enamored? Here’s why: because the happiness that radiates from such a flirtatious exchange could potentially make the staff feel somewhat equal to club members. Then what? Total anarchy, that’s what. Thank you, Pam, for swooping in and reminding hard-working people about their place on the wealth-based social hierarchy. 

Leslie approaches Kurt to ask if he also teaches pilates or zumba. Sadly, he doesn’t. Kurt, I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job, but I think it would be wise to branch out a bit. If yoga goes out of style, then what? You’ll need to be experienced in zumba. Or computers or something, that’s what.

But Leslie doesn’t have time to give him career advice because Pamela appears on the scene telling Leslie, “You’re recommending other classes, and I don’t think you should be discussing that with the instructor. Maybe you ought to contact the recreation committee.”

And good news, Pam is on the recreation committee, and while she can’t guarantee Leslie’s idea will come to fruition, they’ll certainly give it lip service before blowing it off.

Leslie waits until she’s seated for her private interview to say, “I don’t think you can wipe your a** at this club without a committee to approve it, and I have no doubt that Pam is the head of that committee: the toilet patrol.” That was a little lame, Les, but your heart is in the right place.

Pamela is back on the couch, “Leslie didn’t need to join the club just to meet men. She could have saved her money and hung out in the staff parking lot.” Leslie, let’s work on your comebacks. We don’t even like Pamela but feel it’d look ridiculous not to admit she’s slaying you on those.

Before Connie begins the road trip back to Dallas from the club, she stops to thank Pam for agreeing to be in her fashion show. Connie kisses some Pam-butt and tells her she’s arranged for Pamela to be the grand finale.

Connie, you’ve handed us absolute proof that this thing is scripted. Had I not read a guy’s Tweet recently that said “editing Big Rich Texas scripts,” I’d have totally known the minute you started smoochin’ up to Duarte.

Twitter your thoughts to @merripatt

Speaking of Tweets, this one sent by Whitney’s mom, Bonnie (@bonblossman), got me really pumped for this week’s episode: No matter how Whit may be portrayed on the show tonight, she is not a ho!

Now if that’s not the sweetest demo of a mother’s love, I don’t know what is.

Anyway, back to the fashion show convo.

Pamela: What kind of people are going to be there anyway?

Connie: All kinds of people. People from the club, and I can’t wait to meet your friends.

Pamela: Heavy-hitters? Socialites?

Pamela, are you listening? She said people from the club and your friends. So the answer is no, no heavy-hitters or socialites. I agree it would be awesome for you to meet some of those people one day, but it’ll have to be another time.

Heavy-hitters? Who says that kind of thing?

In a rough transition to the next scene set in Pamela’s home in Plano, Style tries to fake us out with a photo of the fountain in Highland Park. About a gajillion miles from Duarte’s pad.

Anyway, very far from the depicted fountain, Pamela is in her master suite that looks an awful lot like a Haverty’s showroom. She’s busy packing pepper spray for a trip to Spain. I’m not totally up on the latest Homeland Security rules, but if I had to throw away a Laura Mercier moisturizer before boarding an aircraft, how’s she taking pepper spray? Maybe she gave the airport security guy the same reasonable argument she provided viewers, “If something happens over there, I want to be able to mace my way out of it.”

Sounds like she’s heading to an area of Spain similar to the neighborhood where her country club is located.

Pamela warns her daughter, Hannah, not to have any parties at the house while she’s away and gives her a list of things she has to do in order to prove she’s responsible enough to take her car to college in the fall. Hannah reviews the list and doesn’t seem to take it super seriously. Maybe that’s because it’s written in purple marker on green polka-dotted paper?

Next we’re at Leslie’s house. Her 20-year-old son, Tyler, has arrived for a visit. Leslie must have ditched him when she needed a girl for the show. But he’s a model, so he can hang around for awhile. She reintroduces Kalyn and Tyler, telling us they haven’t seen each other since they were little.

Clearly it’s been awhile since Leslie has seen the boy. She pokes him in the shoulder awkwardly and compliments his muscles. Leslie, I’m not trying to trash your kid, he’s cute, but muscles? Pam could lay him flat in one punch.

Next we’re in Connie’s consignment store, where Bonnie and Leslie are getting outfitted for her big fashion show. To me, a fashion show is meant to display what you can find in a particular collection. But this is a used clothing store, so the runway will be sportin’ glam that Connie only has one of, right? I don’t get it.

Bonnie is trying on a dress that shows way too much cleavage. So rather than have her move on to the next outfit, Connie tries to cover it up with an enormous necklace.

Connie then realizes the magnitude of what’s just happened and tells viewers, “Her cleavage ate my necklace.”

Leslie isn’t going to let the elephant on Bon’s chest screw up the fashion show, so she takes the initiative and leads Bonnie back to the dressing room for another try. Someone had to say something, but we can see Connie is getting pissed off that Leslie is taking control.

Connie, it’s for the best. Stop rolling your eyes and go read the obits for some leads on new merchandise.

What’s that Leslie? Oh wow, she’s going on about her fees again this week, “I’m doing it for free, but typically I get paid a nice fee for my services.” Then, as she starts teaching Bonnie how to maneuver the runway, we can see that Connie is getting even more irritated. Connie, let her do her thing.

Next Leslie is having a backyard BBQ in honor of her long lost son, Tyler. Someone must’ve told Bonnie and Whitney that it was a Dukes of Hazzard costume party, as that’s the only plausible explanation for what they’re wearing.

Whitney is eyeing Tyler from across the yard, and Kalyn gets jealous. Whitney later tells us, “I think Kalyn is crushing on Tyler, which is gross because they’re a brother and sister, ewww.”

Whit, they’re not a brother and sister. Remember, Leslie got Kalyn from the underprivileged friend in California and calls her a goddaughter. Never mind that the god-siblings had to be introduced to each other a few minutes ago.

Meanwhile Leslie rallies Bonnie to back her up on some changes she envisions at Woodhaven. They brainstorm about the zumba thing and other things like the menu. This is a club where golfers have been known to pack heat just in case they’re approached by gangs on the course—I’m thinking the menu is pretty far down the priority list on things that need sprucin’ up.

Bonnie tells us, “I thought her ideas were fabulous, plus I get the bonus of pissing off Pam.” You’re right, Bon. These are necessary changes.

Hannah arrives at the country club, where Whitney is laying out by the pool. Whitney greets her excitedly and asks why Hannah hadn’t called her to let her know she’s back in town. Um, Whit. Probably because you guys didn’t know each other before your moms started up with this show. But Hannah plays along, “I’ve been busy.”

Whitney doesn’t waste any time telling her new friend Hannah about Tyler and how he’s going to be her boyfriend. It’s true, Whitney can try flirting, and if that doesn’t work, she can put him in a chokehold til he begs for mercy.  Either way, she owns him.

There’s Tyler now. He shows up at the pool, and Style points a camera at him taking his shirt off like he’s some smokin’ hot grown-up. He has the chest of a little boy, people. This is just wrong on so many levels.

Hannah tells everyone that her mom is out of town, and while she’s not allowed to have a party inside the house, that Pamela never said anything about a party in the backyard. Hannah is proud of the loophole she’s discovered, “My mom is not the only resourceful one in the family.”

Whitney asks Kalyn how many girlfriends Tyler has (as if she’d know, they just met) and Kalyn replies, “He just doesn’t hang out with sluts.”

Objection. Non-responsive. Kalyn, just answer the question.

Whitney is back on the couch processing her feelings about what Kalyn has called her, “I don’t know what’s worse: being a slut or being in love with your brother.”

OK, Whit, sweetheart, they’re not siblings. And she called you a slut. Punch Leslie’s ungrateful little rescue project in the freaking face. Do it, Whitney. Do it.

But instead, Whitney tells us, “It’s just a matter of time before Tyler is mine, but first I have to get his psycho sister out of the way.” That’d be easy, call her real mom and tell her to come get her kid.

Back at the consignment shop, Connie is showing Grace what each of the ladies will be wearing in the fashion show. I like Grace; she seems genuine. And when her mom tells her how stressed she’s been, Grace offers some advice, “Why don’t you get someone to help. Maybe Leslie.” The idea is shot down faster than exclusive country clubs slamming the door on Style Network’s butt.

But Grace is sweet, and she tells her mom how proud she is of her. Awww, Grace. We love you. And even if we end up hating your mom later in the season, we’ll have to remember she raised you right.

Back at the club Whitney and Tyler are playing doubles against Kalyn and her friend Aaron. Whitney subtly shakes her booty in Tyler’s face and Kalyn yells, LOOOOSER like a good little pageant girl.

After the tennis match, Kalyn tells Aaron that Tyler just arrived, and Whitney is “already all over him.” Kalyn, just wait until Hannah’s party, where Whit straddles him in front of all the guests. If you’re already annoyed, it’s gonna be a long episode, sister. Yep, she is way annoyed, as evidenced by the term she just coined to describe Whitney: Texas hussie.

Anyway, must be Sadie Hawkins Day at the club ‘cause Whitney just asked Tyler out on a date.

At Leslie’s house, Tyler comes down in a shirt that’s way too big and tells his mom he has a date with Whitney. A second later, Classy Whit screeches up in her Hummer and lays on the horn. So romantic.

Cut to the private interview where Whitney is telling us what she’s planned for the evening, “I’m taking him to a nice seafood restaurant in Dallas, because I’m a bada**.”

At Ocean Prime, Tyler breaks the silence by making a funny face and then asking, “Did those tattoos hurt?” Whitney snaps back, “Did your face hurt?” Awk. Ward.

Next we see Bonnie and Leslie pull up to the country club for a meeting with Woodhaven’s owner, Lou Scoma. Lou is like the Fort Worth version of Danny DeVito meets Tony Soprano, and regardless of what Pam says, he makes the decisions. About everything from allowing reality TV shows to film on the property, to menu selections. So the ladies present their ideas. And since Pam is out of the country spraying mace on suspicious-looking Spaniards, there is little opposition.

Back at Ocean Prime, Whitney works to make Tyler more uncomfortable, “What do you think of girls with boob jobs?”

Tyler doesn’t hesitate, “I like it.” What else would he say? It’s not like he wants to make his mom feel bad.

Whitney: So no one is at your house.

Ty: I’m pretty sure.

Whitney: Really? You want to go back?

Ty makes a face like a 7-year-old that’s just been offered a trip to Disneyworld and says, “Oh, yeah.”

Whitney scans the restaurant for the waiter yelling, “Cheeeeck!” And they leave.

But it seems that Kalyn is home after all, so they kiss goodnight on the doorstep, and Whitney asks him out for a second date. Then she tells us, “After I kissed Tyler, I left because I’m a lady. I ain’t no skank.”

“Ain’t no skank” is your best proof that you’re a lady? We might need to fine-tune that argument just in case you ever find yourself defending the same thing again.

Kalyn tells us, “I hope he didn’t catch skank-tinitus.” Kalyn, are you listening? She ain’t no skank.

Looks like Lou is a zumba fan because that’s what’s goin’ down in the yoga room at Woodhaven. Call me crazy, but I think we’ve got some hired peeps in the class posing as club members. Either that or J Lo’s back-up dancers also go to Woodhaven.

Connie shows up for yoga but adapts to the change and joins in the fun. After she reminds Bonnie and Leslie that Pam won’t be happy. Bonnie admits, “I don’t care what the wicked witch of Texas thinks.”

Bon, can you not massacre the whole state? How about wicked witch of Plano?

Next, the women (sans Pamela) are in a West End loft waiting for Connie, who is running late for her own rehearsal. In an effort to make good use of time, Leslie gets the models started with practice.

When Connie arrives and finds that everyone isn’t just standing around, she gets mad and kicks Leslie out of the show. Connie, you have a limited number of women willing to model used clothing on national television, so that probably wasn’t your best move to date. You’re dragging us down. We need a party.

Not exactly what I had in mind, but it’ll do. We’re in Plano in Hannah’s backyard, where the bash is getting started. The yard looks really suburban. It’d be fine if Pamela didn’t try to make it look like Versailles with oddly placed, tacky statues of people with fruit on their heads.

Hannah takes Kalyn across the yard to introduce her to some people, so Whitney takes the opp to jump Tyler and plant a shockingly aggressive kiss on him.

Whit is under the impression Kalyn is staring her down, so here’s where she straddles him on a chaise lounge. Kalyn is embarrassed for Ty and bolts across the yard to take him away. She tells him they need to go.

Whitney makes missing an hour of Shark Week worth it and hollars out, “Excuuuuussssse. Me.” Then she starts working her way over to Kalyn like a Great White heading for a goldfish.

Whitney: Everyone at this party is talking about you.

Kalyn: Are they talking about you and your whoreness?

Kalyn, let Leslie teach you about pageants, not how to thrash someone with insults, K? Really, whoreness?

Other loud, class-less words are thrown around, and the girls get in each other’s faces. Just when we think there’s going to be a girl fight, Kalyn runs away, dragging Tyler with her. Then ain’t-no-skank-Whitney flashes a middle finger to seal the deal about being a lady.

Cut to the consignment shop, where Connie takes a call from Pamela, who has extended her stay in Spain and can no longer be in the fashion show. I think she’s calling from Plano, and she just wasn’t convinced enough heavy-hitters would be there.

The night of the fashion show has arrived, and Connie is running around looking like an electrocution in couture. I kid you not: her hair is sticking straight up off the top of her head.

Connie’s stress over the dwindling supply of models is at an all-time high. Then what does she see through the shadows of her spiky coif? Leslie. She has risen above the pettiness and attended the show as a spectator in support of her friend. Classy move, Les. No wonder you suck so bad at insulting people, you’re too nice.

Connie seems touched and asks Leslie to be in the fashion show. Leslie agrees and the show is a success. Or as Connie put it, “We killed it.” Now let’s wash that gel out of your hair, Conn. K?

Next, look who is back from Spain. Pamela shows up at Woodhaven for yoga and walks in on the new zumba class, “This isn’t a country club, it’s a nightclub.”

To be fair, Pamela, it wasn’t much of a country club anyway.

Leslie sees Pamela and runs over to her, hoping she’s impressed with the peppy vibe in the room. Pamela observes the changes and asks, “Who’d you bang for that?” Bang? Really?

I’m sure there’d have been more zumba talk but Leslie inadvertently tattles on Hannah for having a party. Pamela’s head is spinning just thinking about all the people she wants to chop up, from Lou to Hannah. She excuses herself, “I need to go get a silver platter, so I can put some heads on it.”

Pamela confronts Hannah. But the response is already drafted, “It wasn’t a party, it was a get-together, and it wasn’t in the house, it was in the backyard.”

Hannah, not to be picky but typically one doesn’t hire a band for a get-together.

Pamela is furious, “I’m traveling, and you’re here having a wingding?”

Wingding? Bang? It’s weird, Pam. That’s what that is.

Don’t miss recaps of episode 1 and 2 then come back next week for episode 4.


  • Stop it! I can’t take it anymore! My sides hurt from laughing. A-hahahahahaha. If you are this funny sober, I’d love to see you with a couple of drinks in you, Patterson. High-larious. Did you see me in the episode? I had 3 blink-and-you-missed-them moments at the fashion show. Check out my recap, I had a lot of fun playing “I Spy”:

  • Liza

    LMAO. Would dearly love to see what Whitney is really like. She cannot possibly be still hanging out with teenagers. I mean, she’s 23. Doesn’t that make her kinda creepy? Or maybe her development is arrested. At any rate she should really be with skanks – oops sorry I mean people! – her own age.

  • Melissa

    This recap is the only reason I watch the show. And Bonnie and Whitney! I have to fast forward through Leslie, I dont know if she asked for that nose or her surgeon sneezed at a crucial moment, but she needs to do something with it. Go getcha some Whitney, but you can do WAY better than that sissy boy!

  • Leslie

    reading your recaps are 10 times better than actually having to sit through the show!

  • Dallas-ex

    I watched the first episode because I used to live in Dallas and wanted to see some of my old haunts. When I saw Woodhaven I almost died. My husband lived in the Woodhaven apts. after graduation from SMU in 1981. We took our kids through their 10 years ago and they could not believe that he lived in that complex– cars on blocks, people hanging in the parking lot. I can’t imagine even people from Plano going over there even to “star” in this show. Now I only watch the show to have a frame of reference for Merritt’s recap. I can’t believe she left out the part about the tennis whites–they were probably just have people on the courts that had on shirts regardless of the color.

  • eastsider

    Love your recaps! Much more entertaining than the show. I stopped by Woodhaven today, lol. The tennis courts look a sham, and no one playing in this heat. The pool looked more like a rec pool, all the padded furniture/umbrellas gone (guess the producers took it all with them after they finished filming) and no one at the pool, as usual. Drove by the low-rent apartments that back up to the tennis courts, they have added a chain-length fence to keep unwanted neighbors out. I agree with the other poster about Whitney….if she is 23 why is she hanging out with teens?

  • neighbor

    Agreed! Merritt’s recaps are waaaaay funnier then the show!

  • yvonne crum

    I am laughing so hard I am crying.. i had a problem with the “tattoo girl” saying … your sister crawled in bed with you.” then saying , no one said that.. I was just trying to get a rise out of him.. at Ocean Prime.. Bullying at it’s best.. Know the crud out of that smart mouth one.

  • Tag

    I love this recap too! This show makes Dallas look ridiculous! However, Style could refashion this show & call it the Suburbs of Dallas. There are numerous women like these characters in Flower Mound, Highland Village, Coppell, Southlake,& Plano!

    And, a professional organization I am in met at Woodhaven for a short time. The food was atrocious – peas out of can, brown iceburg lettuce & mystery meat. We no longer meat at Woodhaven.

    What a farce Style!

  • C. B.

    Your recaps are hilarious!!! I can’t believe STYLE is trying to pass FTW (ewweeee) as Dallas. I would like to say as a resident of West Plano, Pam is a VERY POOR representation of the true LADIES that reside here. She is a Highland Park wannabe!!! She must be VERY NEWWWWWWWW $$$. I think it would be fair to say that those of us that live here chose to get AWAY from the slums that surround HP and UP. She seems to have chosen it because her house is worth less than the land it sits on, but it seems impressive to those that don’ t know anything better. SAD. 🙁

  • moetdod

    My son played on some stupid elite (not necessarily rich!) Plano middle school football team with Connie’s other child. Both parents, who were married at the time, were extremely driven. Watching Connie strut up and down the sidelines with an obnoxious cowbell yelling “Kill’em baby!” in a sequined team logo tee, tight jeans & heels was our entertainment. She’s been performing long before there were cameras present!

  • Corey

    ” Pamela is in her master suite that looks an awful lot like a Haverty’s showroom” HAHAHAHA I thought the exact same thing! Her taste in decorating is much like her taste in fashion- HEINOUS!! And did anyone else notice the dream catcher hanging on the bathroom door knob? Too funny!

  • Micah

    Merritt, your recaps are the highlight of my week. This show is absolutely the worst thing I have ever TRIED to watch.

  • MWats

    These recaps are the only reason ANYONE watches this horrible show! I absolutely love them!

  • Fairandsquare

    Pamela is great and seriously funny. Connie clearly know she is classy and respects her. Bonnie please go to parenting class and stop putting bottom on your lips. That is not an example to follow. MP’s bashfull comments are a complement to the show. They have to be doing something right. Let’s not forget this is a tv show for entertainment as this blog is too. I’ll keep watching it ! Too funny!

  • mere

    Love these recaps! I die laughing everytime. However you missed the part at yoga where Pam tells Lesie that “Its the best yoga class in Dallas.” HA. I had to let out a large laugh. She must love that little delusional Dallas life she lives in.

  • MacKenzie

    I love Whitney and no she’s not a skank but Tyler isn’t that cute and not worth fighting over just let the fake pageant girl Kalyn have him! And also I’m sure Whit does have friends her own aga but however she has to hang out with the younger girls for the show. Just like Leslie needed a “daughter” for the show which is why Kalyn is there in the first place.

  • MacKenzie

    I seriously hate the way Kalyn talks! It’s so fake and annoying! Whit is so much more real, no wonder Tyler liked her more!

  • AnnieAnnie

    Next week I’m going to DVR the episode and when Merritt’s recap is published I will turn off the sound and read the recap aloud while watching the show. It will be awesome and zero chance of accidentally catching anybody singing, badly.

    I have to ask this because I really don’t know much about Texas and I’m sure there are many wonderful, civic-minded citizens with long traditions of family and service to our country. So please don’t take this the wrong way, is Woodhaven like the country club in ” Caddyshack?”

    I have a feeling that Pam is the Ted Knight character and Leslie is like the Chevy Chase character. That leaves Bonnie as the Rodney Dangerfield character. I haven’t figured out who the Bill Murray character is, maybe the club owner?

    Great recap Merritt.

  • sammy

    Damn, now i really want to see this train wreck show, Lou Scoma is a Jim Baker wanna be.
    He refers to the membership as his congregation . Maybe with the money Lou made renting the club he can finally fix the roof, or at least buy classier buckets to catch the water in the dinning room when it rains…too funny

  • ld

    The yoga instructor was Kurt Johnsen, owner of American Power Yoga. APY is on E. Mockingbird near Central above Jason’s Deli. He has taught yoga to the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. I love watching just to see the ridiculous editing that must be done to make everyone and every thing seem posh and upscale.

  • Melissa

    Your recap is the funniest recap of any show I’ve read! I came across your first review after accidentally seeing an episode…reading and enjoying your recap has forced me watch the show! I live in Ohio with no real connection to Dallas but your humor has pushed me to continue to dvr the show then read your writings. They should pay YOU!

  • Lynzy

    Omg i LOVE i mean LOVE this show haha its soooooo funny

  • Kathleen

    I’m so glad I found this recap! I live in Dallas, and believe me, Woodhaven is third-rate, at best. And I’m talking about the Fort Worth country clubs, much less Dallas. This show is so cringe-worthy for a Dallas/Fort Worth native. And Connie’s silly resale shop? I’ve been there, and it’s awful. I’m sure you could find better clothes at Goodwill. None of these people would be allowed in any of the “real” country clubs in Fort Worth or Dallas.

    Thank you, so much, for your humor! It takes away some of the pain of realizing that this show makes everyone in the DFW area look like a moron!

  • C. B.

    I hope that this is off of the air quickly!!! Even though I have to admit I do LOVE Bonnie’s “IN YOUR FACE” attitude. Especially since there is a ridiculous show coming on soon about the “Most Eligible In Dallas” about to air. I truly believe that they took a fish scoop and sloshed around the Trinity River for this one!!! MOST UNATTRACTIVE with a paycheck at best!!!! They would have had better fishing for a winner in the Trinity Bottoms. NONE OF THIS IS DALLAS!!!!

  • haven

    Another great re-cap. Mr. Scoma is busy in the Club Newsletter telling everyone how wonderful the show is and how several new residents of Ft. Worth have inquired about membership after seeing the show. He is also telling that the producers are already trying to secure the Club for another season. We all hope that Mr. Scoma will still be around to watch since he is under investigation for assaulting a female employee of the Club…that’s the reality show they should be filming!!!

  • Fitness observer

    Did anyone notice the crappy carpet during the “fitness” scenes?
    Workouts such as Zumba should never be done on such substandard flooring. It could put your knee out.
    As for that army of skanks, Pam is a desperate social climber – heavy hitters? Please.
    Leslie is better off in Toddlers and Tiaras and she needs to sue her plastic surgeon for that hack job …
    Connie? Another desperate wannabe with a thrift shop.
    Bonnie is a breath of fresh air to that clutch of cob-webbed old coots.
    That other mother who is no ones idea of a model: not on the radar so she had better forget her bloomers when getting out of a car or hop on a mechanical bull while topless or she will
    get the Texas-sized boot out the door stat.
    Asfor the girls, the funny one is Whitney. Thank goodness she is there or this show would be dull with a D.
    The other little girls are just flat out not worth a mention. They also need to step up their buzz factor with some carefully scripted wingdings.
    And as for the venue, it appears that this is where plaid pants go to die and that bowling ball proprietor is a boobie-leering perv. Yech. I can’t imaging eating there, let alone sit on that 80’s carpet and exercise. Condemn that 80’s relic and replace some of these people with fresher choices.

  • NotSo Rich-land Hills TX

    Merrit your reviews are so funny, lively & very witty. Enjoy the factual humor. Couldn’t help but notice poor Connie allowed Leslie to style her accessories. She looked good wearing the large necklace Leslie assured Bonnie would be in the show.

  • biffula

    Look folks, this show is a farce. Probably scripted. There is no way these women would drive at least an hour from the areas of Dallas they live in to belong to the hole of a country club Woodhaven is over in Fort Worth. And Woodhaven is a hole. They will take anyone with a pulse as a member. It is one step from being a public course. And do you ever notice there never really is anyone else but them and there family members at the club or any of their gatherings? I’ve never seen more than a dozen or two dozen people at any single gathering on the show. Dont take it too serious. It’s not real.

  • kristen anderson

    Okay, Dallas ex,, who claims her husband used to “slum it” at Woodhaven when he graduated needs to go back to grammer school- in her words, “they used to live their!!!!!” It is there darling!!!! Another intelligent blogger, Tag, wrote in reference to Woodahven, that they “no longer meat there!!!!” Wow, for people who think they are too good for that area and its inhabitents, they seem to be in need of a good education. It has been my experience that the priviledged are usually educated, so I can safely assume that these bloggers are creating a fantasy that we are all supposed to buy into. Dallas ex-you’re busted!!!! Tag, don’t laugh, you are caught as well!!!! BTW, Leslie was on Millionare Matchmaker and was dumped right after the date-it’s funny how those who flaunt what is not there always end up embarrassing themselves!!!!

  • JohnDieb

    moetdod – Im 100% sure my son ran over your son while on his way to winning the league superbowl and MVP. Thanks for watching.

  • Vexer

    OK, Kristen, before you go slamming someone for their GRAMMAR, be sure you can back it up. It’s also inhabitants and privileged.

  • So where did Bonnie’s hudsband James come from? Not actually in the same elite snobbish crowd Bonnie and Whitney live in. And a son too, Zach. HHHHMMMMMMMM

  • Ya gotta love the industry. They have informed us the second generation DALLAS remake is in the works. I’ve not seen the second generation Dallas but…….. Jokes on us, Big Rich Texas. Is Pam on BRT JR’s replacement?

  • To Eastsider, I can undersrand you wanting to go there and see how much the area has changed. But please be careful as some of the residents from the apt complex have witnessed a couple of murders there. We know that because Pam said so when Bonnie was planning the Murder Mystery Party

  • I have a question……when Bonnie’s family and Leslie’s kids were in the restaurant prior to having Whitney pouring water on Kalin, why was Kaylin and James the only ones served and eating?

  • Kurt

    I don’t see what the big deal is about Tyler. He doesn’t seem all that attractive to me.

  • eastsider

    B G Ray…I actually live in the area there have been no murders. They were referring to incidents that happened in Dallas and not related to anything that happened at the clubs. One was a woman who worked as a fitness instructor at a Gleneagles Club in Dallas, she was murdered by an ex-boyfriend. Nothing about what they show regarding Woodhaven is accurate….they rented out the club for filming, none of them were members prior to the show. There is no tennis pro or gold pro named A.J.

  • Kurt

    Eastsider, is everything on the show scripted? I bet that the beauty pageant was also fake.

  • eastsider

    Kurt, what I know is from the perspective of the club…and nothing that they have shown as far as that goes is real, except for the fact that Scoma is actually the new owner…he is a long-time member/neighbor of Woodhaven and bought the club last year. The show needed a country club to film at, none in Dallas would agree to do it. I have read posts on fb from people who were actually at the pageant. They stated that although the pagent was real, the show’s part in it was not accurate, they staged and reshot scenes for the show.

  • melody

    hahaha! soo funny. you describe Pam exactly how i feel about her. snobby and self obsessed. poor woman is so miserable she focuses on making others miserable.