Yesterday, we talked about two local drug lords who got busted and admitted they were part of La Familia, the Mexican cartel. I thought it was a good premise for a TV show in the vein of, oh, Dexter. The two drug lords, whose real nicknames are Rica and Chato, are anti-heroes. They sell drugs, but they’re good fathers and husbands, just trying to make ends meet. Maybe it’s more The Sopranos meets The George Lopez Show. With that established, I asked Zac to come up with the first episode of the show. He gave it to us in the comments, but I figured it belonged on the top shelf. In case you missed it:
Rica and Chato are disciplining Jesus, a captain in their La Familia drug ring they suspect of skimming money off a few recent deals. Rica is interrupted by a phone call. It sounds urgent. He immediately leaves … to attend his son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
Smash cut. Main credits. AWESOME theme song.
Fade back in. Car chase. For no reason. It lasts until the next commercial break.
And we’re back. Now we’re in airplanes. Nothing but sweet, unprovoked and unexplained tag-team action, and Spanish-accented one-liners. There is also a fistfight on the plane that leads to skydiving.
Next commercial.
We’re back with Jesus. Rica has learned something about disciplining his drug gang from disciplining young Rica Jr. at the pizza party. He lets Jesus live, grounding him for two weeks. But…
When Rica’s back is turned, Jesus aims a gun at the back of his head. (He had it hidden or something, or it was lying around – whatever, just go with it.) Gunshot. Rica turns around. Chato is holding a smoking pistol. Jesus is on the floor, dead.
They high-five. Freeze frame.
End credits. Reprise AWESOME theme song.
