Hey, guys. It’s your ol’ pal Zac Crain, here. You may remember me from such posts as the one right below this one and also the bunch of times — probably too many, honestly, but I can’t stop now, or at least I won’t — when I put up long lists of dog names. Anyhoo, tonight is the company’s holiday party, happening at an undisclosed location (OK, we’ll be on between two and four of those bicycle pubs, slowly circling the West End), and I need you to do me two favors:
- Immediately, like right now, mute all social media by anyone who works for the company. To be safe, do the same for anyone who used to work here. And potential new hires, also. To be extra safe, go ahead and unfollow them. And block and report @timmytyper. Maybe we can finally get that Twitter account suspended.
- Did you do that? OK, great. Now re-follow and un-mute me — @zaccrain — and if you don’t follow me, start. Don’t try to add me on Facebook. I never go there.
Wait, I have a third favor: never forget who loves you. It’s me. Zac Crain. @zaccrain. Tim hates you. He told me.
