Rick Perry On Immigration

"Over the weekend, I noticed that my fellow candidate Donald Trump took time out of his busy schedule of being fired by various companies to take a little shot at your ol' pal Ricky."
“Over the weekend, I noticed that my fellow candidate Donald Trump took time out of his busy schedule of being fired by various companies to take a little shot at your ol’ pal Ricky.”
"Now, Captain Hairdo said, and I quote, 'He needs a new pair of glasses to see the crimes committed by illegal immigrants.' "
“Now, Captain Hairdo said, and I quote, ‘He needs a new pair of glasses to see the crimes committed by illegal immigrants.’ “
"The sand on this guy, am I right?"
“The sand on this guy, am I right?”
"First off, thanks for noticing the specs, Donnie. Anita picked 'em out, and I'm sure she'll appreciate that."
“First off, thanks for noticing the specs, Donnie. Anita picked ’em out, and I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.”
"That's called being polite. You've probably never seen it because it's not located in a Russian model's pants."
“That’s called being polite. You’ve probably never seen it because it’s not located in a Russian model’s pants.”
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, dang. What?! What?!"
“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, dang. What?! What?!”
"But, anyway, as for what you said about 'failing on the border,' nothing could be further from the truth."
“But, anyway, as for what you said about ‘failing on the border,’ nothing could be further from the truth.”
"Not just no, but HELL NO."
“Not just no, but HELL NO.”
"I'm not gonna let some Donnie-come-lately attack my record on that, when I've fought harder to keep Mexicans out of Texas than Bill Paxton."
“I’m not gonna let some Donnie-come-lately attack my record on that, when I’ve fought harder to keep Mexicans out of Texas than Bill Paxton.”
"You see that garbage? Texas Rising? Check this out."
“You see that garbage? Texas Rising? Check this out.”
"I mean, WHAT?"
“I mean, WHAT?”
"But anyway, Rick knows the way the cow eats cabbage, so guess what, Trumpy? You win. I'll play your game."
“But anyway, Rick knows the way the cow eats cabbage, so guess what, Trumpy? You win. I’ll play your game.”
"Effective immediately, as acting president of Texas, I am hereby banning all Mexican food from the U.S. of America."
“Effective immediately, as acting president of Texas, I am hereby banning all Mexican food from the U.S. of America.”
"Boom."
“Boom.”
"That's right: no more tacos, no more enchiladas, no more fajitas, no more gorditas. Nuh-uh. None of it.
“That’s right: no more tacos, no more enchiladas, no more fajitas, no more gorditas. Nuh-uh. None of it.
"NO FROSTY MARGS EITHER!"
“NO FROSTY MARGS EITHER!”

Comments

  • Georgia Calvi

    Did Rick Perry really say that “gay” is the saddest word In the English language? http://goo.gl/6Ovm78

  • mj01323

    D Magazine was once a good publication. How I remember those days. Alas, no more.

    • anotherinterestedreader

      Just what I was thinking.

      • @zaccrain

        Me too. What a joke,

        • RAB

          At least they had the sense to kill that ridiculous review of the magazine feature. Talk about navel gazing.

  • Bruiser in Houston

    This is pathetic.

    • @zaccrain

      This comment? Agreed.

  • OldLakeHighlandeer

    Brilliant as always, Zac.

    • @zaccrain

      Nah, only ok. But thanks!