Why You May Have Noticed Fewer Mosquitoes This Year

[Harold Faltermeyer’s “Top Gun Anthem” plays at top volume]

“He’s about yay big, answers to Thor. Anyway, if you see him, let me know. Ah, hell, he may already be on the chopper. Speaking of — “

“You ready for this, Johnny?”

“JOHNNY FOOTBALL WAS BORN READY, SON!”

“Love that spirit, hoss. Get suited up.”

“BOOM.”

“Haha HA, we got us a live one, Teddy. OK, where’s the rest of the team? Chuck? Chuck Stop? Chuck Wagon? CHUCK!”

“Right there, RP. Just let me finish this set.”

“Yeezus H. Christ, Chuck. Suit the GD dang up, NOW, mister.”

“OK, OK, let’s do this. The captain ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. Let’s kill some mosquitoes.”

[Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” plays at top volume, but is almost drowned out by Perry screaming “GET SOME GET SOME GET SOME”]

“There is the enemy, men. NO PRISONERS. Leave it all on the field.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa — what in the heck is that?”

“Rick, come on, we can’t waste our ammo. Rick!”
“Aw, hell. OK, FINE.”

“GET SOME, SKEETERS. GET SOME!!!”

“G-Dub, set this sucker down.”

“Boys, there’s too many of ’em out here. I’m not going to put you fellas in harm’s way. Not on my watch. Not again. Me and Chuck will take it from here. We got a couple thousand rounds and a case of Chard. Ted. Ted! Dry those eyes. We’ll be fine. You ready, Walker?”