Friday, April 26, 2024 Apr 26, 2024
73° F Dallas, TX
Advertisement
Awesome Things

Brad Holt Would Like to Sell You His Sex Machine, a 2004 Saturn Ion Coupe

|
Image

Brad Holt is a senior videographer up at UNT, creating pieces for the school’s marketing department. He also owns a 2004 Saturn Ion Coupe, a car that he’d very much like to sell. The 26-year-old decided to combine those two parts of his life with the above ad, which he posted to YouTube Monday. Watch it. (Waiting.)

Holt and I chatted via email yesterday about the ad, which is, let’s say, different. Jump for the interview:

How much are you asking?
I’m hoping to get $7500 for it. Aside from the fact that it’s got fresh oil, fresh brake fluid, a fresh inspection, and just had a pleasant little engine flush, this isn’t just a used car. It’s like owning a piece of HISTORY. Especially since Saturn the company actually IS history, if I’m not mistaken.

In the video, the trunk is described as being “big enough to hold more than 100 stuffed animals.” How many stuffed animals do you think it could hold, if you really smushed them together? Asking because I have about 225 stuffed animals at home, and I transport them OFTEN in my trunk.
Oh man, smushing adds a whole new layer of possibility! If we hold onto the “seats up” requirement, you could EASILY bring your 225 favorite plushies with you on your daily commute. For a longer, more close-quarters trip, I don’t think you’d have a problem getting up into the territory of 500 or so, depending on how hard you can push down to pack them in there. Don’t worry they love it.

Brad Holt. Source: Facebook
Brad Holt. Source: Facebook

How quickly do you expect to be contacted by Saturn, and will you accept their offer of head of advertising when asked?
Do you know something I don’t? Is Saturn still a thing? Do I need to take down the “RIP SATURN” posters in my room? Please tell me these tears have not been shed for nothing. Actual life goal: Shoot promo video for Tesla Motors. If you can sort that out, I’m in.

How many offers have you received?

Since the video only launched yesterday evening, I’ve still received fewer than 10 offers. And by offers I mean people wondered how much I’m asking for it. I have thus added my asking price to the video description. Of course, there’s always room for some flexibility, right? I love me some flexibility.

What made you think this was the best way to sell your car?
I’ve played the Craigslist game before, and I’ve never had much luck. I happen to be of a filmmaker-type, so it made the most sense to me to use the thing I’m most passionate about to facilitate selling the greatest vehicle ever made. My Saturn has always been a star; it’s just time the rest of the world found out about it. It’ll be tough to see her go, but I know she’ll do great out there in the real world.

The email address for the sale is [email protected]. How many times have you had sex in this car? Has it been cleaned since your last sexy voyage?
I’m proud to say that, while this car will absolutely bring in the tail–people do still say tail, right?–it simply provides an invigorating method of transport back to more appropriate, sheeted quarters for further activity. And yes it was recently detailed.

Related Articles

Image
Arts & Entertainment

DIFF Documentary City of Hate Reframes JFK’s Assassination Alongside Modern Dallas

Documentarian Quin Mathews revisited the topic in the wake of a number of tragedies that shared North Texas as their center.
Image
Business

How Plug and Play in Frisco and McKinney Is Connecting DFW to a Global Innovation Circuit

The global innovation platform headquartered in Silicon Valley has launched accelerator programs in North Texas focused on sports tech, fintech and AI.
Image
Arts & Entertainment

‘The Trouble is You Think You Have Time’: Paul Levatino on Bastards of Soul

A Q&A with the music-industry veteran and first-time feature director about his new documentary and the loss of a friend.
Advertisement