For our Best of Big D issue this month, we once again opened up online voting for the readers’ pick in each item. Readers could vote on a number of finalists chosen by the editors, or they could write in their own suggestion for a winner. (See the entire list of Readers’ Choice winners here.) Tens of thousands of votes were cast. Many of the write-ins were actually quite helpful, leading the editors to research places they otherwise might never have discovered. But some of the write-ins were much less than helpful. What follows is a selection of the worst write-in votes we received this year.
Who is the best local politician?
- That’s an oxymoron.
- My dog Spot
- None of the above
- No such thing
- Politicians are vile scum of the earth.
- Your mom
- No such thing as a good politician. Same question as what is your favorite cancer?
- Don’t know enough to vote
- David Knuckle
- Chuck Norris
- William Murderface
Who is the best athlete in Dallas?
- Who cares? I thought this was the culture section.
- Dr. Nathan Dodge
- I don’t really care about sports.
- Are there no female athletes in Dallas?
- Texas Ballet Theater dancers!
- Heard Museum
- Bigfoot
- Poop
Which is the best local sports team?
- The Boston Red Sox, when they play in Texas
- San Antonio Spurs
- Philadelphia Eagles
- Dallas International Film
- Festival
- Poop
What’s the best theater company in Dallas?
- Don’t know
- Meh
- Uhh, I don’t go to the theater.
- Your mom
- AMC
- My living room with my 52-inch big screen
- Poop McGee
- What’s the best art
- gallery?
- They’re all so gorgeous!
- None
- Don’t know enough to vote
- Ugh
- Your mom
- Anatole Hotel
What’s the best dance company?
- Silver City
- Don’t dance
- Which is the best day spa
- in Dallas?
- I don’t spa.
- Your mom’s house
Which gives the best facial in Dallas?
- Really?
- The Glory Hole
- Justin
Where’s the best place for a blowout?
- Lee Harvey’s
- I-75
Who is the best children’s entertainer?
- Television
Who makes the best burger in Dallas?
- India Palace
- Chili’s Bar & Grill
- Burger King
- Sonic drive-in
- El Fenix
- Palomino Bar, Bay View, Wisconsin
- Don’t go to Dallas often
- TJ’s Fish Market
What is the best pizza place?
- Domino’s
- Pizza Hut (Roanoak, TX)
- Olive Garden
- Cici’s
- El Fenix
What is the best Chinese restaurant?
- Oh, my God. You people are idiots! Royal Sichuan in Richardson is hands-down the most authentic Chinese cuisine in Texas! If you need a new food critic, email me at [redacted].
- PF Changs
- Gross
- Cindi’s New York Deli
- There are not any good Chinese restaurants in Dallas!
What is the best barbecue joint?
- Dallas BBQ sucks!
- Outback
- Rockfish
What is the best coffeehouse?
- Starbucks, Addison Walk
- 7-Eleven
- Denny’s
- Not big on coffee drinking
- Any Starbucks
- Quik Trip
- Do not drink coffee.
- Rockfish
What is the best French restaurant in Dallas?
- Three Forks
- My knowledge is limited La Madelline.
- la madeleines
- La Madaline
- Le Madeline
- LaMadeline’s
- La Madelaine
- Rockfish
What is the best Indian restaurant?
- None
- No such thing
- Sick
- Don’t eat Indian
- Taste of Italy, Garland
- Choctaw Cassino on Hwy 75
- Rockfish
What is the best home accessories store?
- Zeus Comics and Collectibles
- Knick Knacks Antique Mall
- Target
- IKEA
- The Korean stores over on Harry Hines and Royal
Where’s the best place to buy jeans in Dallas?
- Sears
- Kohls
- J.C. Penney
- Walmart
- Goodwill
What is the best lingerie shop?
- Condoms to Go
- Walmart
- Goodwill
What’s the best lounge in Dallas?
- They’re all gross.
- Club Douche
- The lounge in my pants
What’s the best gay bar in Dallas?
- Back Door, if that’s a bar
- Uhhhmmmm, no
- I’m not gay. So I don’t know.
A version of this article also appears in the August 2012 issue of D Magazine.
