I’ve been eyeing Epic Cones’ pizzas-that-come-in-cones ever since Scott Reitz gushed about them last month, but the thought of potential heartburn kept me from ever ordering them. The Epic Cones website finally convinced me. Any home page with a wall of CAPITALIZED TEXT and two or three exclamations after every sentence (!!!) tends to do the opposite of scaring me away.
Plus, there was the enticing fact that Epic Cones also makes dessert in a cone.
The author of those homepage words is owner Chris Martinez, a very enthusiastic cone-ist (if there is such a thing) who started his small business in April 2012. Ever since then, Martinez has been working tirelessly in his Deep Ellum kitchen as the chef, owner, and delivery guy. His mother helps him make the dessert cones and curry chicken salad, but the dough is his baby and he makes it from scratch. “Everything’s from my head,” he says. “I don’t get the recipes anywhere else. I just try to make a good product that’s affordable and fresh.”
Jump if you want to get coned.
The website promises that “EPIC CONES IS HERE TO SATISFY YOUR EVERY CYLINDRICAL DESIRE.” Each cone is stuffed to the max with toppings, but still small enough to fit inside the palm of your hand. The best part is that it’s mess-free. You can sing, dance, type, and watch a baseball game with an epic cone in your hand without ever getting cheese stuck inside your fingernails – always the worst part of eating a normal slice of pizza.
Although pepperoni’s been a big seller, Martinez suggested the “Chrisaninni” for me, a cone that’s as epic as it sounds. The name derives from both his name and the fact that it’s partly a panini… in a cone. Ham salami, corned beef, bacon, and provolone cheese fill every corner of the cone, packed tightly like a can of sardines. Its frozen food equivalent would be a salty Hot Pocket, but, of course, Martinez’s version is more cylindrical and fresh. His crust is baked until it’s thick and flaky, holding up all the elements of the Chrisaninni pretty nicely without the possibility of breaking or falling apart in your hand. The chocolate chip dessert cone arrived by delivery at room temperature, meant for those who have a really sweet, sweet tooth. Maraschino cherries are mashed with a cherry cream cheese filling that will stuff you in three bites flat, if you’re not careful.
Although these cones would be better as late night snacks for the not-so-sober, Martinez is still sticking to his usual lunch hours from Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Once he can find someone to help him make the cones, he’ll consider opening late-night.
