Leading Off (3/15/16)

OMG! JoJo Fletcher Is the Next Bachelorette! The Dallas “real estate developer” didn’t win the heart of bachelor Ben Higgins last night, but in the After the Final Rose special, it was revealed that JoJo will get to do the picking in the next season of The Bachelorette. I guess all that real estate will just have to develop itself, because JoJo’s gonna be otherwise occupied.

Mystery of the Oak Cliff Corpse: Solved. For those who read Brantley Hargrove’s fine story in our January issue about the body found buried in a backyard, now you have the ending (or an ending) to the tale. It ain’t quite Bernie, but Skip Hollandsworth is probably already talking to people. And Brantley has already talked to them first. And I’ve already become Brantley’s agent and am negotiating a low seven-figure deal for the screenplay.

American and Southwest Want to Fly to Cuba. The airlines have made their case to the Department of Transportation. Seems half the people I know have already been to Havana, “before the Americans ruin everything,” as they’ve said to me. But I say: let’s make Cuba great again.

Dallas Seavey Wins Iditarod. It’s his third consecutive win and fourth in five years. I’d like to point out that a man named Dallas did this. The Iditarod has never been won by a man named Fort Worth.