Rangers in Midst of “Worst Off-season in the History of Off-seasons”: Presumably this is because they must’ve removed the two-foot melted cheese and jalapenos face-stomp of a hot dog, right? (Flicks on ESPN) Oh, wow, never mind. This is terrible. You all must be very sad.
TSA Claims Girl in Wheelchair Is a Terrorist: Or at least a bomber. Or – in her 12 years – sometimes dabbled with the cleansing power of explosives. Actually, the literal karmic opposite of that is true: “Shelbi Walser was traveling with her mother on Sunday for a trip that’s become routine. The seventh grader lives with a genetic bone disorder and was on her way to Florida for another rare medical treatment.” TSA responded to the false alarm: “We are sensitive to the concerns of passengers who were not satisfied with their screening experience and we invite those individuals to provide feedback to TSA through a variety of channels.” Fox 4 is apparently not one of those channels.
Mansfield Neighbors Stick it to Vandals By Not Decorating For Christmas: I have an inside baseball question about this one. How did the reporter find the story? The gist of it is that, since the neighborhood’s Christmas decorations have been clobbered in the past, the neighbors went dark, no decorations. So someone must’ve called the reporter, right? There’s no way CBS’s Arezow Doost was driving around Mansfield, saw a block with no lights, and started asking around. Seems calling a news reporter, being interviewed on camera, and saying things like “I had a blue stream that used to run in my front yard because the deer would be drinking from it” sort of invites the kind of trouble they’re trying to avoid, no?