Random Sonnet About An Inanimate Object: The Topsy Tail

(Note: I don’t know what made me think of the Dallas-born Topsy Tail this morning, but I did. The first line of a sonnet crept into my head and wouldn’t leave until I did something about it. And, no, I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep. That probably has something to do with it.)

Oh what wondrous piece of molded plastic–
That slender rod with loop on stretched end.
You make long, flat hair somehow fantastic.
Such mod styles and salon ‘dos you transcend.
A braid, a clasp, a comb, a brush, barrette,
Curler, dryer, even puffy schrunchie–
These tools one finds–or maybe might expect–
Placed on or in or near a vanity.
(The furniture or female trait? you ask
Good question, and it’s one for the ages.
Whichever meaning is charged with the task
Of getting follicles primped for stages.)
But best of all the hair-brained schemes for sale
Has been for years that chintzy Topsy Tail.


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10 responses to “Random Sonnet About An Inanimate Object: The Topsy Tail”

  1. amanda says:

    You spelled scrunchie wrong, other than that, it’s a masterpiece.

  2. Oldman says:

    Don’t forget that founder Tomima Edmark lived in Dallas.

  3. Barbara says:

    Chintzy. and very, very strange.

  4. Gadfly says:

    The inventor, Tomima Edmark, is now into lingerie. Visit http://www.herroom.com for a second sonnet inspiration. But if that doesn’t inspire you, visit her manly underwear site http://www.HisRoom.com.

  5. Davie Dave says:

    Good thing they are finding out you have way to much time on your hands after they let people go.

  6. Houston Proud says:

    Actually, I believe I saw Topsy Tail dance at a club in Houston back in the ’70s. She prob’ly gettin’ a little long in the tooth now but, man, what legs that lassie had back in the day.

  7. SLR says:

    Looks like someone’s been wearing Eric’s shirt.

  8. Tim Rogers says:

    Okay, first, it’s weird that some of you thought you needed to point out that Edmark is from Dallas, as Adam referred to the tonsorial device as “Dallas-born.”

    Anyway, I thought this was good stuff. The paternity-driven sleeplessness that Adam is struggling with has made FrontBurner a better place today.

  9. SLR says:

    A better place. And distinctly gayer.

  10. junior says:

    wow!!! thats a gay poem u suck