Adventures in Self-Tanning

I’m half Irish and half Italian. I look exactly like my Sicilian mother except for one thing—her gorgeous olive skin. Somehow those genes bypassed me and left me with my dad’s pasty white Irish skin. However, this is good news for you. Because of my white skin, I have become a self-tanner connoisseur. I’ve tried all kinds, from Chanel to brands you’ve never even heard of, and my favorite is definitely L’Oreal’s Sublime Bronze Pro Perfect Airbrush Self-Tanning Mist. It doesn’t make me orange; it sprays on easily and dries very quickly (within five minutes, so you don’t have to walk around the house naked for four hours waiting for it to dry). You’re not supposed to rub it in, so your fingernails won’t get that nasty brown/orange around the edges. I buy it in “medium,” and it gives me a really nice color after only one coat. And because there’s no need to rub it in, I hardly ever have any streaks. The only thing I don’t like about it is the strong aerosol smell. I usually hold my breath as I spray it. The things we do to look good …