You Can’t Get There From Here

Suppose you live near White Rock Lake. Suppose you have a friend driving in from Phoenix who needs directions to your house. Here’s what you tell him: “From Fort Worth, take the Turnpike to Dallas and follow the signs for Interstate 30 East. Get off on North Central Expressway. Take Central Expressway north to the Northwest Highway Exit, get off and go east on Northwest Highway . . .”

Two hours after you expect your friend to arrive, your phone will ring. “Hi,” your friend will say with exasperation in his voice. “I’m in a place called Piano. Am I close?”

Here is what your friend has done: Driving east on Interstate 30, he took the exit for Central Expressway. This move lands him on a lumpy little road that dribbles past old warehouses into the heart of downtown Dallas. If he’s very lucky, your friend will eventually find the real North Central Expressway. What he should have done is ignore the Central Expressway sign and follow the “Houston/Sherman” sign and then follow the signs to Sherman.

If he had done that he would have found himself heading correctly north on Central. He then would have started looking for the sign for Northwest Highway. He would never find it. He could drive to Tulsa and never see the sign for Northwest Highway. There isn’t one. The sign says Loop 12.

Please, Mr. Traffic Control. Those signs are worth fixing. Though the Piano Chamber of Commerce may disagree.