The Real Housewives of Potomac castmates with LeeAnne and Brandi, our only Dallas representation at last weekend's BravoCon. Bravo

Television

The Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: L’Infinity and Beyond

Hats off.

LeeAnne, LeeAnne, LeeAnne… girl, what are you doing? You could have had this round. Kary and D’Andra were obviously being silly little monsters who took a joke way too far. Was I highly anticipating this joke after seeing hints of it in the mid-season trailer? Yes, I love a sight gag. But they took all the fun out of it. Did the L’Infinity dress maybe need some workshopping before being delivered to actual paying customers. 100 percent, but it only needs to be said once!

LeeAnne handled it all so well, until she didn’t. And then she really did not. Seeing a person—worked up or not—slap themselves in the face is a bit of a cry for help in any situation. When it’s followed by a racially charged rant, someone should probably take that person aside and away from cable network cameras.

But this is Bravo, and painful to watch or not, this is what we came for. “People love to judge human behavior. This is sociology,” Andy Cohen told the crowd at BravoCon this weekend. I hate myself.

We kick off this episode much more innocently with the group’s arrival to Thailand, where the first real issue is about hats. I tend to think Kameron is very savvy and knows how to work the Bravo system, but I really hope she didn’t think this baby elephant song might end up embroidered on one of Craig Conover’s pillows. It’s not even a song. It’s barely a jingle! You have Erika Jayne dropping “XXPEN$IVE” over in Beverly Hills, and Dallas’ only tune to date is this baby elephant thing? (Also, not to be a wet blanket, but is this elephant exploitation?) Step it up, ladies.

Someone planned their itinerary very well. They just immediately get to go to bed when they get there and wake up to a full breakfast spread thanks to Stephanie (who I guess is technically our host for this “impromptu trip”). A list of local rules is read and Kary is wearing very cute pajamas. That’s all I remember. Oh, and Kam wants to go down to the alleys? I would like a list of rules for what Kam is and is not down with.

While everyone goes to pair a cute outfit with bright white sneakers, D’Andra reveals to Kary that she brought the L’Infinity dress and my serotonin levels straight spiked. D’Andra justifies the plan by saying that LeeAnne would do this if the roles were reversed. She’s probably right.

Later at Wat Pho, we find out which ladies consider themselves “highly religious” and there’s a whole lot of fuss over hats. I mean, you know, it’s not really about hats. It’s about two women trying to out alpha the other I guess. But surely they can pick a better point of contention than hats.

I do have to say, Kary keeps making a behind-her-back jab that LeeAnne has never traveled out of the country, but that simply is not true. LeeAnne does some of her best work off U.S. soil. Remember when she went to Mexico with a flesh-eating bacteria? The panty-liner line in Copenhagen wasn’t my favorite (nobody likes the phrase “panty liner”) but people remember it.

Oh no. When LeeAnne says, “I should have made the joke in Hispanic and not English.” That’s not cool or correct verbiage!

It’s time for dinner and it’s time for the L’Infinity dress. D’Andra shipped it to a P.O. box in someone else’s name. Sneaky!

Now, I guess this is how I thought this L’Infinty dress would go down. I thought D’Andra would wear it (in one of its 175 forms) downstairs, cause a little stir, and then go up to change (or at least snap off the extensions) so everyone can move on and eat dinner. But instead, she and Kary go on, and on, and on about how disastrous the dress is and how it needs a pamphlet. It most certainly does, but this is pretty low hanging fruit. It’s just too mean.

I really loved when Brandi asked LeeAnne if she was okay and stuck up for her. I think I may just really love Brandi?

And then, of course, LeeAnne loses it. Stephanie’s testimonial reaction when LeeAnne slaps her face and growls “come on, Mexican” is all of our reactions. Girl, what are you doing?

Until next week. We’re all in this together.

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