Kameron Westcott on "Watch What Happens Live" Bravo

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The Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: Spooked

Nothing's scarier than forced Halloween content.

What a weird whiplash of an episode. One minute, we’re at a bachelorette party where there’s a gift collection area labeled “Drop Your Panties,” and then we suddenly find ourselves talking to ghosts we thought were our husbands on the other side of a shower curtain. One moment, we’re working on our roundoff back handspring with Brooklyn. Next, Kameron is eating cheese so she can “fight the demons.” What a ride!

The episode begins with b-roll of actual rain in Dallas, so I guess we should have known things would be off. But before we get to any of the true weirdness, we have to address the fact that Kameron and Stephanie sort of had a fight last week. Remember when Kameron stormed out of the room and no one followed her, so she had to come back in and tell people she had stormed out of the room? That fight.

The two meet for breakfast at Toasted and each dressed for completely different occasions. Stephanie is in a low pony and understated workout clothes. Kameron has a full face, a blowout, and I believe a sun dress despite the rain. She looks absolutely incredible but it’s breakfast at Toasted, you know?

Zero progress is made, mostly because of Kam. Actually, completely because of Kam. At one point she says, “I can’t,” and stands and raises her arms a lot. Then she says, “Okay I’ll sit back down now.” Kameron is not an effective arguer but that was a fun power move. Poor, logical Stephanie doesn’t even get to touch her avocado toast.

We head to The Ranch in Las Colinas with Brandi and Stephanie. In an effort to seamlessly thread in some Halloween content, Brandi says, “You of all people know that I’m open to accepting the spiritual realm.” Did she know that? Stephanie says, “Do you feel like the devils will come inside you?” Oof.

It’s time for another of LeeAnne’s wedding events. We’re at Felix Culpa on Henderson Avenue, and I think I get it now. Do our venues have to be windowless for filming purposes? It’s that a thing? Is it because LeeAnne keeps having daytime events? We just seem to be in a lot of windowless warehouses recently. Anyway, there are a lot of randos here (I think I even espied the Mermaid SEAlon girl). So LeeAnne’s hands aren’t the only thing with filler in them. It appears the entire lineup from Station 4 is also there and doing great work. I hope they were well compensated.

Pots are stirred by Cary/Kary. First, Cary asks Stephanie and Kameron separately about their fight. Stephanie thinks they’re fine. Kameron things it’s all a fakery. Cary just says, “You gotta go with your gut.” Give ’em hell, Cary.

Next, Kary not-so-subtlly stirs up her own drama by asking the bachelorette why she didn’t invite someone to her bachelorette party. I’ve been hard on LeeAnne this season, but I’m fully on her side here. That is a deeply uncool move. First of all, even if you decide to move on from a fight, you’re still allowed to take some time and ease back into the friendship. Second of all, D’Andra claimed Rich was cheating on LeeAnne, so maybe she shouldn’t be invited to wedding stuff. (Did Rich say that Jeremy cheated on D’Andra. Yes of course. But that’s not really applicable here!) Listen, I love that Kary isn’t afraid to stand up to LeeAnne, and seems deeply unfazed by this confrontation, but this ain’t it, babe.

The best thing of all though is when LeeAnne tries to convince Kary that her invitation to the wedding got lost in the mail. LOL.

Actually, no. The best thing is when LeeAnne runs out of steam and sense at the end of the fight and just says, “When you give me an action, you get an invitation. Until then, go over and stand in the vasectomy line.” We started off so strong there.

The worst thing is when LeeAnne calls D’Andra a “fat cow.”

Halloween is two weeks away, so we’re shipping these women out to Hill House Manor, which has nothing to do with the Shirley Jackson novel. Okay, I looked up Hill House Manor so you don’t have to. It was built in the 1850s in Gainesville and has reportedly been used as a speakeasy, a brothel, and a series of apartments in the years since. No one seems to have claimed it was haunted until 2004, when its current owner, Linda Hill (who we see on the episode), bought it and began renting it out. Do with that what you will.

Two things of note happen at Hill House Manor. The first is that we find out that Brandi really, truly loves ghosts. Sort of… adorably so? The smile she had on her face when she flickered those lights was just infectious honestly.

The second is another instance of LeeAnne one upping someone’s misery. This time it was Kary’s. Oh, you were going to clubs in Mexico when you were 14? I was having sex at 13. It’s very Penelope from SNL, and it’s extremely frustrating to watch.

See you at the bunny funeral next week. What a time to be alive.

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