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Hockey

Alexa Is Out Here Gaslighting People About the Dallas Stars

According to Amazon's virtual technology assistant, Dallas is only down a game in its series with the Golden Knights.
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Things aren't as bad as they seem in Amazon's world. Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

I’m not sure why Tim Rogers thought to ask Alexa the score of a hockey game I know he was already watching, what with the angry text he sent me comparing Jake Oettinger’s motor skills in net to those of an impaired Dade Phelan. Why does Tim do anything, really?

What we came to find out, however, is that Alexa, the purported know-it-all created by everyone’s least-favorite tech overlord, is making up lies about our city’s hockey team. Have a listen, and make sure you stick around for the end:

Alexa, don't be so cruel!

For those unaware, the Stars did indeed lose 4-0 to Vegas last night. It was brutal. (Would now be a bad time to mention you should still read Sean Shapiro and David Castillo’s excellent, not-at-all-depressing piece about the game?) But that loss put Dallas down 3-0 in the series, not 2-1, as Alexa claims. It’s a pretty consequential difference considering only four NHL teams have ever rallied from a 3-0 deficit to win a playoff series.

So, like, what the hell? Is Alexa broken? Is she being sympathetic to a devastated fanbase, which was angry enough to chuck garbage on the ice last night? (For the record: not cool, people. Don’t chuck garbage on the ice.)

Maybe she’s broadcasting from a parallel hockey universe, in which the Stars actually won an overtime game and Jason Robertson is the NHL’s leading playoff scorer and Nils Lundkvist has climbed his way out of the doghouse.

Or maybe she’s gone full ChatGPT on us and is lying for funsies. It’s probably that. Because the Stars are definitely trailing 3-0 and making tee times soon.

Author

Mike Piellucci

Mike Piellucci

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Mike Piellucci is D Magazine's sports editor. He is a former staffer at The Athletic and VICE, and his freelance…

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