Wednesday, July 6, 2022 Jul 6, 2022
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Help Us Establish Cowboys-Bears Wager

Cristina Daglas took my job. But her team won't take this game!
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CowboysOn one side of the wager: Cristina Daglas, noted Chicago native and devoted Bears fan (aka the interloper who stole my job away from me). On the other side of the wager: me, noted wagerer and wearer of old Marion Barber Cowboys jersey on game day because it gets me 10 percent off my grocery bill at Albertsons. The only question, then, is what should we bet?

I proposed to Cristina that the loser sing a song of the winner’s choosing over the company PA system. She said no in a way that now makes me want to get her loaded at karaoke night at the Goat. Next suggestion: loser eats a raw jalapeño. She made an ick face. Next suggestion: loser drinks the score differential in Dirty Dusties. Cristina pointed out that she weighs, like, 98 pounds and that, say, 10 shots, each followed by a beer, might kill her. Which is exactly the sort of sissy quitter attitude you’d expect from someone from Chicago. Am I right?! Who’s with me?

I bring it to you, the wise FrontBurnervian. What should Cristina and I wager on this football contest?

Update: Someone on Facebook suggested the loser volunteer for a day at the charity of the winner’s choice. When it comes to wagers that can have a payoff on FrontBurner, something with which to entertain our 15 readers on Monday after the game, that’s about the worst suggestion in the world. Please, no one else make it.

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