Stuart Weitzman’s New Heels = Serious Shoegasm

OMG! Do these Stuart Weitzman heels make you as giddy as they make me? I’m trying to brainstorm ways to make an extra $575 by mid-August when they arrive in stores. Hmm, since anything immoral or illegal is out of the question I wonder if a lemonade stand might work. It is insanely hot out. Oh wait, that means I’d have to sit outside in the heat day after day after day waiting for kind souls to pity me and fork over ten cents. Never mind. I’ll figure something out. Or, more realistically, I won’t and I’ll just spike said lemonade, sit in my air-conditioned house and wallow in my sorrows. Oh, why does love hurt so much?