Monday, March 20, 2023 Mar 20, 2023
39° F Dallas, TX

A Love Story for the Ages: A Car Accident Turned Meet-Cute

Dating Apps? Nah. Zac has more grandiose plans that involve a big, dumb truck.
By | |Illustration by Dean MacAdam
Dean MacAdam

February is the month that contains Valentine’s Day, which makes it theoretically the month of romance, which makes it perhaps an appropriate time to announce that, while I have not exactly given up on the idea of romance altogether, I have given up on the idea of finding it on “the apps.” Tinder, Bumble, Raya, Venmo, SNKRS. Whatever. It’s not going to happen, and I have made my peace with that. I’ve been trying to use my phone less, anyway.

I did try, on and off for maybe two years, switching from one app to another, polishing and repolishing my bio, updating my photos, widening my parameters here, narrowing them there, looking up tips, taking advice. I made a connection or two and at least a few lifelong enemies. I learned I appeal to a very particular type that I won’t share here. Anyway, like I said, I tried. It’s like my man James Ingram once sang: “I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough.” That’s the way the cookie bounces sometimes.

But Zac, what are you going to do for companionship if you have sworn off dating apps? Great question, and one I’ve put a bit of thought into.

I still have a fair amount of life to live, after all. After investigating a few potential courses of action, I have landed on an idea that, while certainly risky, stands to have the biggest possible payoff: a classic Hollywood rom-com meet-cute.

Wait, wait—hold on, I hear you saying. Aren’t the chances of that happening pretty slim? Even in the movies most of those situations are implausible. Guess what? You haven’t even heard the crazy part yet! I have a very specific situation in mind.

I’ll meet the next woman of my dreams when she hits me—but hopefully does not kill me!—with her truck.

You probably don’t have much to say now, huh? I know it’s insane, but isn’t love insane? The best kind of love at least? I mean, I’m not really looking for stability. (No kidding, replies everything I’ve done since 2016. 2014. OK, 2009.) I have already been married and already have a wonderful son.

I made a connection or two and at least a few lifelong enemies.

As for the specificity of this scenario: it is a well-established canon that I walk a lot. In December 2020, the Texas Observer called me “The Flâneur of Downtown Dallas,” which is a wonderfully fancy way of saying that I walk a lot. I published a book called A Pedestrian’s Recent History of Dallas. (You can buy it here, and read an excerpt right here.) I am out here in these streets. So there is the first part.

Now, as for the woman, well, if you have seen many romantic comedies, you know that the couple at the center of them is almost always made of opposites. Since I am a walker, we need a driver, and you cannot get more of a driver than someone at the wheel of a big, dumb truck.

The rest should take care of itself. I have almost been hit by people who would not make suitable romantic partners dozens of times, including the guy who called me a gay slur, so I’m due for a pretty, dark-haired woman who has a good sense of humor and hates the same things I do. And trucks are not getting any smaller—just the opposite, actually—which increases the chances of your boy being the new face of the body cast SS23 collection and finding love while learning to walk again.

And if that doesn’t work, I guess I could resort to using my position as an editor at D Magazine to let people know that I’m single and then publish my email address.

This story originally appeared in the February issue of D Magazine with the headline, “How I Celebrate Ford Truck Month.” Write to [email protected].


Zac Crain

Zac Crain

View Profile
Zac, senior editor of D Magazine, has written about the explosion in West, Texas; legendary country singer Charley Pride; Tony…

Related Articles


Gallery: The Dallas Arboretum Kicks off Hispanic Heritage Month With Quinceañera Fashion

The Dallas Arboretum kicked off Hispanic Heritage Month by welcoming dozens of young women to model their Quinceañera best throughout its grounds.
By Bret Redman
Dining Dispatch

Justice Kitchen Puts Black-Owned Restaurants on the Map. Literally.

All those lists of Black-owned restaurants you're looking for lives on this user-friendly map.