8137 Robinwood Way
Victoria, British Columbia Canada
July 5, 2021
Dear D Magazine:
Enclosed is the manuscript for my life-changing manifestation manual, The Elements of Abundance.
While I realize that you are but a mere magazine publisher, do not limit yourself in your thinking.
I am asking you to be open to the infinite abundance of the Universe. The same abundance that Mark Cuban and Elon Musk have so effortlessly tapped into.
Do not throw this query letter in the trash!
(I can see the future, by the way, and I know what you are thinking at this point.)
Do not dash off some “form letter” and lick the stamp that will reject this golden opportunity.
For this is THE BILLION DOLLAR QUESTION!
The chance of a lifetime!
I offer you a manuscript that could turn your small, backwater Dallas press into a global publisher of tremendous import.
Are you intrepid enough to answer my query? To read the book that shall hasten your own abilities to manifest untold wealth and prosperity? A book that can heal and repair your sad existence on the earth plane. (What must you have done in a past life to be reading query letters for a living?)
Are you at least smart enough to see the Universe knocking at your door?
That’s perhaps the real question.
The idea for The Elements of Abundance came to me in my jacuzzi.
At first unbidden and unwanted.
Much like this query letter has found you. But it persisted. It followed me around like a kitten mewling for a saucer of milk, and then over time, it became a tiger that chased me around my house, and eventually, it devoured me.
But in a good way.
I do not mean to bore you with my writing process, but I think you should know I am no ordinary writer. I am a former U.S. Remote viewer and psychic medium. I talk to orcas and keep flowers in full bloom—stuff like that. I like to write in the nude with the windows open in the springtime. But my neighbors are of the nosey sort. So now I am forced to wear my bathrobe while I type and drink my Sanka. (Caffeine makes me a nervous wreck.)
The words and ideas I have typed here are channeled not from “Aliens” or “Ascended Masters” but from “Infinite Intelligence.” It’s hardly worth mentioning, other than the fact that I am basically transcribing the very secrets of the Universe when I write. You will see what I am talking about when you read my book.
What you really need to understand is that what you hold in your hands is a manuscript that will exponentially outsell The Secret, the leading “Law of Attraction” book that has sold over 35 million copies and made its publishers millions!
Much like The Secret, my book also deals with manifestation and creative visualization, wealth and prosperity. It is something of “The Secret to The Secret.” It will explain why all 35 million of the readers of The Secret are not yet billionaires themselves and how they can change that if only they read my book, The Elements of Abundance.
Here’s what real people are saying about my book:
“The Elements of Abundance is the only guide to manifestation that you will ever need!” —Nancy Regan, my bridge partner and best friend. A Dallas resident, not the former U.S. First Lady.
“At first, I thought it was crazy, but now I guess it really works!” —Donny Regan, Nancy’s husband and award-winning Dallas woodcarver. (You should publish his wooden decoy photos next. They truly would make a beautiful coffee-table book.)
Thank you for your time and consideration. But what is time? Just another illusion. That’s what you will find once you fully absorb The Elements of Abundance.
I look forward to hearing from you. Actually, I know you will be calling me soon with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning! And I also know your six-figure advance will astonish and delight me. That’s because I have already made a vision board with your photo and lots of glitter on it. (Just like I tell my readers to do!) I also know that it is just a matter of time before my “Inner-Verse” becomes your “Outer-Verse,” my wishes become your wishes, whether you want them to or not.
Former Dallas Resident and U.S. Remote Viewer
Will Clarke is the author of The Neon Palm of Madame Melançon, Lord Vishnu’s Love Handles, and The Worthy. He holds an M.F.A. from the University of British Columbia and lives in Dallas with his wife and family.