They Came From California

A totally very real conversation between a husband and wife who fled the West Coast fires and settled in Preston Hollow.

Trevor: We moved to Dallas from San Francisco.

Kaisley: Nob Hill.

Trevor: Right, Nob Hill. Loved it. We had a condo with a roof deck and some great views, really nice. 

Kaisley: Trevor is in investment banking. 

Trevor: Yeah, that’s right. But, anyway, we really loved it, but the fires this year just freaked us out, you know? Like, the sky was orange for days, and you couldn’t go outside without tasting this acrid stuff in your mouth from the ash or whatever. It was terrible. And then we read this article in the New York Times Magazine about climate migration. 

Kaisley: I read the story and shared it with Trevor. 

Trevor: I thought I read it and then—

Kaisley: No, I read it and shared it with you in our family Slack channel. Remember? It was all about how climate change is going to drive people away from the coasts and, like, how insurance companies won’t even be able to insure houses in parts of the country because they keep burning down. In Santa Rosa a couple years ago, the wind created a storm of embers, and houses actually spontaneously ignited. 

Trevor: She called our Realtor the day after she read that story. And since Kaisley lived in Plano through high school, that’s where we started looking.

Kaisley: I went to Plano West.

Trevor: What’s the difference? You went to high school in Plano.

Kaisley: I just—it wasn’t Plano East. I went to Plano West.

Trevor: Fine. She went to Plano West. I went to Choate. Is everyone happy? But so we knew we didn’t want to live in Plano. No offense. I mean, some people like Applebee’s. That’s cool. But we wanted something with a bit more character.

Kaisley: We looked in Oak Cliff. A bit too much character, if you know what I mean. I don’t even know if Alto goes there.

Trevor: Well, that and we’re pregnant. [puts arm around Kaisley, pulls her in, kisses top of her head] We’re on the wait list at Lamplighter. We really wanted something closer to the school. Not to jinx our chances of getting in! [pulls out one-hitter] You don’t mind, do you? Leave this part out. Still can’t believe it’s not legal here.

Kaisley: The obvious choice would have been Highland Park, but then we found out you can’t keep chickens there, which I just don’t understand. We’ve got two Sussex chickens named Jane and J.K. 

Trevor: She won’t eat store-bought eggs.

Kaisley: That’s how we landed on Preston Hollow. It was perfect for us. It’s no Nob Hill, of course! But we don’t have to worry about wildfires. 

Trevor: Tornadoes. 

Kaisley: What?

Trevor: Tornadoes. The Central Market at Preston Royal is still closed. All that stuff, still a mess. It’s worse than Oak Cliff. 

Kaisley: That’s true. It does look tacky. And, frankly, there are too many Trumpers in our neighborhood. They won’t put up yard signs, but they’re everywhere. You can tell by the way they wear their masks down around their chins, with their mouths uncovered. 

Trevor: Yeah, what’s up with that? That’s like wearing a condom on your head. “Hey, buddy, that’s not how it works. You look stupid!”

Kaisley: OK, that’s enough, honey. Please don’t use that part. We’ve got friends at Park House who won’t think that’s funny. But yeah. So it all worked out. Preston Hollow has been really nice for us. 

Trevor: And it was so affordable that we went ahead and bought a little place near Lakewood Elementary, too. Just in case Lamplighter doesn’t work out. 

Kaisley: God. At that point, we might as well give up and move to East Dallas.

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