Local socialite Kim Gatlin’s book Good Christian Bitches is getting plenty of press. The Dallas Morning News and NBC Channel 5 both did pieces on it, even though the title is too racy for either to say or print. But we can. Good Christian Bitches is the story of Amanda Vaughn, who moves to Highland Park carbon copy “Hillside Park” and finds catty women, über-wealthy men, and friends who slander their friends during Bible study. We flipped through the roman à clef to see if we could identify the characters in the story—though sources tell us most of the characters sound like Gatlin herself. We did the odds.
Amanda Vaughn: Recently divorced mother of two who moves back to Hillside Park from California. Frequently described as “gorgeous” and “beautiful.” Revives the Longhorn Ball to the dismay of less God-fearing peers. Is beautiful, and gorgeous. Suspect: Kim Gatlin. Odds It’s Really Gatlin: 1-1.
Sharon Peavy: Amanda’s former best friend. Lives on the outskirts of Hillside Park with her aunt in order to maintain an HP address. Gossipmonger. Perfect breasts. Suspect: Willa Ford-Modano. Odds It’s Really Gatlin: 10-1.
Heather Sappington: Social-climbing real estate agent. Sleeps with SMU football players and gets thrown out of the Longhorn Ball for being drunk. Sharon’s wing woman. Suspect: Lucille Bluth. Odds It’s Really Gatlin: 2-1.
Tom Harrington: Newly divorced land developer in Mexico. Amanda’s high school crush. Woos her with a black Maybach, $98,000 worth of clothes from Neiman Marcus, and a large donation to the Longhorn Ball. (She took the car and clothes back, folks. She’s got morals and stuff.) Suspect: Henry S. Miller. Odds It’s Really Gatlin: 1,000,000-1.
