Monday, February 6, 2023 Feb 6, 2023
65° F Dallas, TX

Who Needs Rudolph?

By D Magazine |

’Twas the month before Christmas, and in castle and cottage Dallas revelers set records for sheer kilowattage. Decorating their houses, their cars, and their pets< No thoughts of post-holiday bills and regrets.

With the latest biography of Jerry Jones read, And visions of Super Bowls dancing in our heads, In our Troy Aikman nightshirts and Deion-style caps, We had just settled in for a long winter’s nap.

When near City Hall there arose such a clatter We turned on the TV to see what was the matter. On the screen we beheld a sight that did tickle us-DART’s first light rail train-carrying St. Nicholas.!

But where were the reindeer? The toys? And-how curious! Why did the jolly old elf look so furious? And why was he telling a gathering crowd, That our council and school board weren’t making us proud?

“These people are stuck! Their progress is glacial! They reduce every problem they face to the racial. With minds that are closed and views that are retro In tight little camps of white, black, gay, and hetero.

“Squabbling and screaming, cursing on tape,”- He paused for a moment to stand there and gape. “Hispanics, African-Americans, Anglo-Caucasians- Who cares if you’re Greeks or Kurds or Malaysians, Or Native American, Jewish, or Czech, If your kids cannot read and your streets are a wreck?

Now Gilliam! Now Plata! Now Keever and Kress! Stop all the bickering that blocks your success! Now Duncan, now Luna, go ask Mr. Fielding Why his hatred for mayors remains so unyielding!

And speaking of councilmen-Hicks? What a dope! His mother should wash his mouth out with soap! All this cursing each other, like sophomoric jerks-Whatever happened to the City that Works?

No wonder new companies don’t find you deserving, And locate in Piano and Southlake and Irving. Al Lipscomb tells whites to get out of the schools- / thought only Van Peavy could be such a fool!”

His lecture was finished and he boarded the tram Which whisked him away as he yelled this refrain: “This could he a great city, if you just wouldn’t fight! Merry Christmas to all-and to all a good night!”