CLINTON at the BAT

The baseball mess produced at least one epic poem when Jody Dean, KRLD talk show host, penned this ’90s version of the venerable “Casey at the Bat.” A sampler:

There was ease in Clintons mariner as he stated his concern; “The weakest player in the league makes more than millions earn.’ And if you owners paid too much, you should have thought of that! You’ve hurt us ail with your bickering; Now, Clinton’s at the bat!”

The owners’ eyes grew wider and indignantly they spoke. “The problem is the players’ greed; that’s why our system’s broke! Oh, sure… we make some money, but we’re going down the drain. You can’t expect us millionaires to handle all the strain!”

The players then objected; “We’re not the cause at all!” A million dollars average is the price to chase a ball. We sympathize with working Joes; we know the fans are sad. But we deserve the mega-bucks, even if we’re bad!”

The smile was gone from Clinton’s lips, his jaw was clinched and tight.”Binding arbitration is how we’ll fix your fight!I’ll send it up to Congress; they’ll legislate the plan.And soon the sounds o/a(l our youths will echo through the land!”

The owners and the players, they saw his face grow cold. They thought of what might happen if Congress got a-hold, Of anti-trust exemptions, and who would foot the bill. And they measured all the chances of action on the Hill.

The President loomed large over them, a scowl upon his brow.This mess had gone on long enough, and he wanted answers now.As he straightened his hand toward them, they broke into a sweat.And not a sound was heard therein that room, as he made once more his threat.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land, kids play with ball and glove. And daydream of the major leagues, and play a game they love. And somewhere folks have honor, without care for greed or clout. But that’s not true in baseball; the President has struck out.