Topical Punch

Oh, those witty morning drive-time DJs. How can they be so clever, so topical at so early an hour? For more than 100 stations across the country, including KYNG in Dallas, part of the answer is a five-page overnight fax from Lewisville called “The Morning Punch.” Started in 1989 by local gag writer Nick Nichols, the service now employs nine writers-all linked by fax- to create one-liners from the day’s news.

Here’s a sample of their wares. First, Nichols and Co. culled this irresistible item from the Associated Press: “…Miss America contestant Kandace Williams, whose claims about being related to Julius Caesar and Kenny Rogers landed her in the spotlight, says she doesn’t understand all the fuss. Williams also claims to be a human magnet.” Then the joke smiths sent their jocks some quick quips: “Curiously, no matter where she sleeps, she always wakes up facing north!”: “In the talent competition, she escapes from a straight jack-et…”; “Well, she never had any trouble attracting men.”

DJs provide their own rim shots.

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