Thursday, March 28, 2024 Mar 28, 2024
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SAY IT AIN’T SO, NOLAN

By D Magazine |

We may survive the S&L soaking and the governor’s race. But can anyone imagine life without the magnificent NOLAN RYAN?Yes, the Express is thinking about taking his ailing back, his six no-hitters, 300-plus victories, and three jillion strikeouts back to the ranch in Alvin. Hangin’ ’emup.The blow to our civic morale isunimaginable. Therefore, it’s important that you act now to prevent this horrible loss. Check the appropriate blanks and return to “KEEP ROLLIN’, NOLAN,” C/O D Magazine, 3988 N. Central, #1200 Dallas, 75204.

YES, NOLAN, I WANT TO KEEP YOU PITCHING. I PLEDGE TO



Ask my employer to buy all office supplies at Bizmart.



Personally consume Whataburgers a week.



Make you the highest paid player in baseball history, making even more than the $4 million-plus paid the A’s Jose Canseco. As a member of D’s NO WAY, JOSE club, I’ll contribute $ a year to this special fund. The money from thousands of local fans will be added to your Rangers salary, ensuring that you’ll always make at least $1 a season more than Canseco.

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