JOHN HENRY FAULK ON TEXAS MYTHS

IN THE 70-ODD YEARS SINCE I FIRST saw the light of day dawn in Travis County, Texas, I’ve run into some pretty odd Texas myths.

Most of them have been rather harmless nonsense, but it amazes me that they were so widely believed. Some even persist today. For instance, Cousin Ed Snodgrass, an elderly cousin of my mother who lived with us when I was a child, confided to me that Texas was the center of the universe. It was God’s Will that it be. I admired Cousin Ed mightily, so I regarded this as the gospel truth.

During that period of my life, I also subscribed to the myth that held that everybody in the world was born in Texas. I guess I sort of absorbed this myth from the fact that all the people I knew or had ever met, including my family, my numerous kinfolk and our neighbors, were all Texas born. Until I was nine years old, 1 had never met a person who was not a Texas native.

It happened when I was in the third grade. One bright October morning, a new boy joined the class. He was no ordinary mortal; I knew that at once. He wore a coat and tie. I had never seen a boy wearing a coat and tie before. Nobody else in our class had either. He also had an elegant haircut that was obviously trimmed with great care. It contrasted harply with the homemade, hit-and-miss jobs on the other boys in the class.

At recess time, I encountered the awesome new student and asked, “Whereabouts are you from?”

“New York City,1’ he said in a strange accent.

“Is that far from here?”

“It sure is. Almost 2,000 miles.”

“Was you bornt there?”

“Of course. That’s where my parents lived.”

“How does it feel being bornt in New York?”

“I guess it feels like getting born anywhere,”’ he replied with a shrug as he walked away.

My Texas-Mother-of-the-Human-Race myth walked away with the boy. And that very evening, another of my myths went down the drain. A longtime friend of my parents, the Rev. Culpepper, a Methodist minister, had returned to Texas from Arkansas and was having supper with us. Great banter went about the table over Brother Culpepper’s having deserted Texas for Arkansas.

“The Lord guided me to Arkansas,” Brother Culpepper beamed. “It’s the new Promised Land”

“Texas is the center of the universe” I chimed in. I was deadly serious, but the remark brought a burst of laughter around the table.

“Is that so!71 Brother Culpepper turned to me with mock civility. “Now I happen to know that Arkansas is the center of the universe. How can you prove that Texas is?”

“Because if the Lord hadn’t intended Texas to be the center of the universe, He wouldn’t of went to the trouble of putting it there,” I said with absolute conviction.

“That was so up until last year,” Brother Culpepper smiled. “Last year, the Lord decided that Arkansas should be the center. That’s why we call it ’The Wonder State.’ “

It was inconceivable to me at that time in my life that a Methodist minister would depart so much as a hairsbreadth from the absolute truth. So I accepted the loss of another myth, the second in one day,

As I say, I was only nine years old when I ceased to accept these Texas myths. The fact that I did accept them so wholeheartedly at one time, though, makes it easier for me to feel tolerance and charity toward the countless Texans I meet these days who still embrace them fervently.

Bill Moyers Talks To A Fellow Texan

In The Man Who Belt the Blacklist . . . him Henry Faulk, journalist Bill Moyers interviews the late humorist about his 19SE stand against McCarthyism and its blacklisters. Then a CBS radio personality, Faulk was accused of ties to Communism and blacklisted. He filed suit against his accusers and won in court, effectively stopping the practice of blacklisting. The special, which airs Wednesday. August 1, at 9 p.m. on Channel 13, also features commentary by program host and author Studs Terkel, who traces Faulk’s life from his Texas roots to the center of New fork’s entertainment business – and back again.

At 8 p.m., preceding this new special, KFRA airs its production of Legacies of the Land: A Tale of Texas. Focusing on the importance of – and myths surrounding – Texans’ ideas about their land. Legacies of the Land is hosted and narrated by John Henry Faulk.