JUST SAY MICKEY – MICKEY FINN!

In Guadalajara, travelers worry about the water. The Dallas version of turista, however, involves a knockout potion slipped in the nightcap, after which it’s adios to VCR, Rolex, and other upscaliana. In the past three years, more than sixty visitors and residents, who ought to know better, have been hornswoggled by sirens using this ancient ruse. So if it’s 1: 30 at the bar, and a strange lady of expansive décolletage slides in beside you and toys with your earlobe, watch it. After five Tanq and tonics, you may think that your rugged, chiseled good looks and suave demeanor have fetched this bedazzler. But check the mirror. And while you’re wondering, watch out for these lines:

“Mmmm. You’re really tense, aren’t you? Or is that just the way those rock-hard muscles feel? We better go to your place for a backrub. “

“Mmmmmm. Doncha love that song? Bet it would sound a lot better on your no doubt totally decked out stereo that reverberates through your like really masculine but so inviting bedroom. “

“Mmmmmmmmmm. I’ve got a friend over there, Juanita’s her name, and she is so lonely tonight. You think we could cheer her up?”