More Laughs From Those Wacky Folks At The IRS

Does somebody have a sense of humor at the IRS? Apparently so. Dallas accountant John Ahnert recently opened a package from the IRS and found, tucked in among the various routine documents, a copy of what purported to be an internal memorandum outlining the IRS’s new “Restroom Trip Policy (RTP).” Under the policy, each IRS employee gets a Rest-room Trip Credit of twenty runs per month. Unused trips can be accumulated from month to month, but the balance cannot exceed thirty. According to the memo:

“Currently, the entrances to all restrooms are being equipped with personnel identification stations and computer-linked voice print recognition. Each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal, one under stress) to the personnel branch. Effective October 1, all voice print recognition systems will be fully activated and those potential restroom users without voice prints on file will be restricted from restroom use.

“In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds [later], the roll of paper in the stall will retract, the toilet will flush and the stall door will automatically spring open.”