Amazing Story: The Spielberg Effect

Dear D Magazine,

I was in Dallas recently, visiting a friend in Presbyterian Hospital. Across the street from the hospital is a restaurant named Houston’s. While dawdling over a cool drink I made an observation you may be interested in.

In an hour’s time, I counted no less than four men who looked exactly like Steven Spielberg, the movie director. As a matter of fact, the first one was so exact, I almost walked over to his table to ask him how he did ail those cute special effects in E.T. That’s when I noticed there were other Steven Spielbergs in the restaurant. Thinking, perhaps, that it was a mere coincidence, I strolled back to the hospital and I saw two more men who looked like Mr. Spielberg. One of them was a doctor. The next afternoon I went back to Houston’s and the same scene was repeated: this time there were three Steven Spielbergs. Unnerved, I got in my car and drove around the North Dallas area. Then, I began to see Spielbergs everywhere. They were walking along sidewalks, coming out of stores, but, mostly, they were in restaurants and driving BMWs.

When I told this to a nurse at Presbyterian, she just looked at me funny. I didn’t dare tell her I saw a woman Spielberg, too.

Have you guys noticed this? Is it just in North Dallas or does this Spielberg effect (I can’t think of anything else to call it) exist in all parts of the city? It would be kinda interesting to see how many Steven Spielbergs there really are in Dallas.