LIFE WITH FATHER

June 15 is Father’s Day, and, if you haven’t noticed, the profile of the American dad is changing. There’s a new breed of father among us. He’s older, and he’s deliberately waited later in life to start a family. Over die past decade, the birth rate has dropped among younger fathers (ages twenty to twenty-nine) and has increased among an older age group (ages thirty to fifty-five), with the greatest increase of babies being born to baby boom fathers between thirty-five and thirty-nine. And while the increase in fatherhood for men between forty and fifty-four has not been as dramatic, it has been steadily on the rise, according to American Demographic Inc.

Dallas/Fort Worth men are no exception to this trend, say childbirth educators. Marian Brown, the childbirth education coordinator at Harris Hospital in Fort Worth (the ninth largest ob/gyn hospital in the United States), says that her childbirth classes are drawing more and more older fathers-to-be. Says Brown: “These guys are real into it, more so than the younger ones.”

Currently, Dallas has no classes or support groups exclusively for fathers, but a spokesperson for the Dallas Association for Parent Education says that the organization is “kicking around” the idea for just such a service because of increasing demand. And, for the last year, Harris Hospital-Methodist has included a film called Fathering in its childbirth classes for the same reason. The film, says Brown, provides a whole new perspective on the fatherhood experience. Of the four men interviewed in the film, says Brown, two are older fathers who emphatically emphasize the importance of being involved in a child’s birth and rearing. “How you were fathered,” says Brown, “doesn’t necessarily affect how you will father. It’s not the ’Leave It To Beaver’ syndrome anymore with Ward just patting the kids on the head at night.”



One local dad who waited for fatherhood is David Card, the heart and soul of Poor David’s Pub, At forty-six. Card is the proud parent of eleven-month-old Richard David, who will soon be joined by another Card issue. (David and wife Clare are hoping for a girl this time.)

“We are physically resilient in our twenties, but we’re much more emotionally resilient in our forties,” says Card. “You’ve got to look out for your own interests-emotionally, physically, and financially. If you’re not happy, the child won’t be happy.”

Card packs up baby Richard in his backpack and they “go everywhere together,” he says. “It’s a way to spend time with him,” explains Card, who admits that you can only go “goo goo, gah gah so many times.” And about middle age and the years beyond, Card is philosophical. “You’ve got to accept the negatives,” he says about being forty-six years older than his son. “Do a few more pushups and run an extra mile to stay in shape.”

The plight of impending fatherhood at any age is treated humorously in the latest book by forty-nine-year-old humorist Dan Greenburg. He chronicled his baby son’s conception, incubation, and debut in Confessions of a Pregnant Father, now out in local bookstores. The book is a good primer for fathers-to-be about pregnancy and its inherent anxieties.

Says first-time daddy Greenburg about having children: “No sign comes from God that tells you when you’re ready. It’s a matter of deciding that you’re grown up enough.”

Today, Greenburg’s life revolves around the care of fifteen-month-old Zack and promoting his new book. As for social interaction, he says, he and wife Suzanne herd together with other couples who have babies. As he writes in Confessions, “I ceased to be an interesting person” (when he became a father). But Dan’s proud of his progress: “Now,” he says, “I’ll mingle with couples who have babies that aren’t Zack’s precise age.”