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HERE’S THE LINE ON THE NEXT LANDRY

By D Magazine |

Remember Phil Bengtson? No? Well, he was the schnook who took over at Green Bay in 1986 after Vince Lombardi decided that he had no more worlds to conquer.

Poor Phil. He should have known better. After the Packers quickly became ordinary under his guidance, Bengtson succeeded in hitting the city limits about five minutes ahead of the lynch mob. Inevitably, the day will come in Dallas when somebody has to replace Tom Landry. Here are some probable candidates for that dubious assignment, accompanied by the latest odds on their chances for gaining the appointment. Whoever wins the job might find it useful to consult with Phil Bengtson before accepting it.

Paul Hackett (3 to 1)-A lot depends on what happens this season. If the Cowboys offense should suddenly snap to attention, Hackett-the man who made Bill Walsh look like such a genius at San Francisco-would be the most likely heir apparent if Landry should decide to step aside.

Don Shula (5 to 1)-So why would Shula ever consider abandoning the gentle breezes of the Orange Bowl, where he has become such a successful fixture? Because every man has his price, that’s why. If Bum Bright wants to open the vault, Shula would be here on a moment’s notice.

Mike Ditka (8 to 1)-If the Bears win another Super Bowl, Ditka will join Al Capone and Boss Daley at the top of the list of most beloved Chicagoans. If not, The Big Chill could set in fast. Ditka might welcome asylum in Dallas.

Jackie Sherrill (10 to 1)-He took A&M out of the sticks and into the Cotton Bowl. If Sherrill could coach the Cowboys back to the Super Bowl, he could apply for instant sainthood and retire. However, Bright-Mr. Aggie himself-is the man who brought Sherrill to College Station in 1982 and probably would prefer he stay put.

Jim Wacker (12 to 1)-Don’t laugh. Just because America’s leading exponent of positive thinking has encountered hard times at Froggie High is no reason to write him off. If Wacker manufactures another miracle team, à la 1984, he’d be hard to overlook. Besides, Wacker is used to coaching the pros.

Roger Staubach (15 to 1)-So he’s never coached anywhere. So what? There is nothing in Roger’s background to suggest that he would be anything but a natural when it comes to strategy and leadership. And this way, he could finally call his own plays.

Terry Donahue (18 to 1)- That’s Terry, not Phil. He is frequently seen smiling in front of the UCLA bench while the Bruins are winning another Rose Bowl game. Very capable. And more important, very presentable, cut from the H.R. Halde-man/J. Walter Thompson mold.

Herschel Walker (22 to 1)-The latest bulletin on the rumor circuit has it that Tex Schramm has devised a scheme to extricate Walker from the USFL. Walker would retire from the New Jersey Generals, pay back his contract, and come to Dallas as player/ coach.

Hayden Fry (30 to 1)-Fourteen years have passed since key SMU alums decided that Hay Boy was a little too full of himself. Fry subsequently got the last laugh, turning Iowa into a Big Ten force. The ultimate irony would be for Fry to return to Dallas.

Several longshot candidates are grouped at 50 to 1. These include George Allen, Bum Phillips, Ron Meyer, O.J. Simpson. Charlie Waters, Joe Namath, and John Madden.

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