Saturday, January 28, 2023 Jan 28, 2023
47° F Dallas, TX


Thirteen clues closer to the keys
By D Magazine |

ast month, when we unveiled the D Magazine Great Cadillac Treasure Hunt, we introduced you to a Dallas man known as Homer Cassapien. As you know by now, Homer is a rather unusual fellow, a genius whose startling intelligence only served to make him unhappy. Though he was a child prodigy and a celebrated author before he was 20, Homer was haunted by the fear that he might never find a challenge that would really tax his remarkable mind.

During the past year, Homer solved the unanswered paradigms of Einstein, translated War and Peace into three-syllable Yiddish and wrote several new books, among them Resin and Reason, an existentialist view of the 1975 World Series; Doubting the Artichoke, a book of short stories; and Why You Are Not Me, a new theory of human personality. Sadly, none of Homer’s frantic efforts could fill the void in his life.

Homer thought he had found happiness when he set out to solve Dallas’ traffic problems, and he led the D Magazine staff to believe that he had found the answer to the 5 o’clock blues. But the magic panacea was nowhere to be found in the letter Homer sent us. Later, we learned that Homer had snapped under the strain of his quest and was being treated by a psychiatrist, Dr. Lemuel Krantz of Springline, Massachusetts. Dr. Krantz enlisted our help in curing Homer, sending us three puzzles that his patient had constructed. If our readers can solve them, Dr. Krantz believes, Homer may return to reality and tell us his answer to the traffic problem.

So, to encourage you to help poor Homer, we decided to sweeten the pot: The first person to solve the puzzles and find the silver box with the keys will win a 1983 Cadillac Eldorado in the color of his or her choice.

As your calls and letters indicate, many of you have already solved the April puzzle-and that means you’ve discovered The District, an area of a few square miles bounded by the four streets mentioned in the answer to the April puzzle. There, in The District, someone will find the silver box. It could be you. So if you haven’t finished solving the April puzzle, you’d better hurry!

For those still having some difficulty with April’s puzzle, Homer has sent some additional advice:

“I understand that some of your readers are having a bit of trouble, so allow me to enlighten you. Most of the clues present the streets in the order that they are meant to fit the blanks. The answer to Number 21, for instance, should be written CASCADE PIONEER, since the “falling wetly” clue comes before the “toward the west,” clue. Several of the clues, however (2,3,9,11,12,13,22,23,26,29), need to be written in reverse order: Clue Number Nine, for example, would be written PONDEROSA EVERGLADE. Many of you, no doubt, figured this out; if if you didn’t, this should help you in transferring the answers to the clue box.

Now, about this month’s puzzle. Dr. Krantz sent us this photograph of Homer in his Springline motel room. In the room, you’ll notice, are several common, everyday objects – and a few bizarre items, as well. Homer’s accompanying directions were brief and to the point:

The verbal acrobatics of the first puzzle have ceased to amuse me. This time, let the images speak for themselves. The numbered objects in the photograph represent sites in The District -perhaps parks, schools, churches, businesses and whatnot. You who have found The District should decide what each object stands for, then plot the approximate location of each site on your by now well-worn Dallas city map. Several of the sites are listed in your telephone directory; to find the others, you will need to drive around in The District. When you connect the plotted numbers in numerical order, you will find that at one point the lines cross. The keys are hidden within one half mile of that point. Remember, the lines will intersect only once. Keep in mind that the number of some identical objects may be significant (i.e., number of cards, number of boxes, etc.).

As you can see, Homer is not saying much this month. We asked Dr. Krantz for further directions, but he says that Homer grows more withdrawn and silent every day and will tell him nothing except this: On the other side of the dog bone are the initials “A.L.” Dr. Krantz says he is happy to hear about the response to Homer’s puzzles: “He needs that kind of caring and empathy if he is ever to rejoin society.”

Well, there it is. Those of you who have already cracked the April puzzle are ready to hop in your cars and head for The District. While you’re mapping out the sites that Homer has in mind, you’ll probably see other Cadillac hunters on the prowl, armed with maps, binoculars and six-packs.

By the way: Homer Cassapien did send us something else in answer to our pleas. Several large packing crates arrived at our offices last week. We won’t tell you what was in the boxes, but Homer had scrawled a message on a strangely shaped piece of paper:

Clues: See that everybody gets one.

Apparently, Homer intended for us to distribute these items as supplemental clues to this month’s puzzle. But our offices are already packed with back issues and boxes of restaurant receipts, so we’ve sent these clues over to Carl Sewell Village Cadillac. Drop by and pick one up and consider it Clue Number One, just as if it appeared in the photograph.

The last puzzle, in next month’s issue, will reveal the exact location of the Cadillac keys. But Homer’s directions for the grand finale are so maddeningly weird that we’re a little uncertain ourselves. Just to be on the safe side, we’re dispatching a staff member to seek out Homer and question him about his intentions. The report on this pilgrimage and the final installment of The Great Cadillac Treasure Hunt will appear in our June issue.

So, until next month, good luck to all of us. And happy hunting!


1. The sterling silver box from Tiffany’s with the Cadillac keys inside is hidden somewhere within the Dallas city limits. The puzzle in this month’s issue will narrow the territory of The Great Cadillac Treasure Hunt (which Homer calls The District), to a circle, one mile in diameter, within the area defined by last month’s puzzle. June’s puzzle will lead you to the exact site of the silver box. However, to those who have not solved Part One, Part Two will be meaningless and Part Three cannot be understood. Only licensed drivers are eligible. Taxes, title and license must be paid by the winner.

2. The exact location of the silver box isknown by only two D staff members.

3. A letter disclosing the hiding place ofthe silver box and explaining the clues usedto find the box has been filed with the lawfirm of Haynes and Boone.

4. That letter will be printed in theearliest possible issue of D after the discovery of the silver box.

5. Southwest Media Corporation employees, suppliers and their families, aswell as free-lancers who have contributedto any Southwest Media publication sinceJanuary 1, 1982, are ineligible to participate in this contest.

6. D wishes to thank Sewell VillageCadillac for helping to make this contestpossible and Tiffany’s for providing thesilver box in which the silver Cadillac keys(on an Elsa Peretti sterling key ring, alsofrom Tiffany’s) are hidden.

7. D Magazine does not countenancetrespassing on private property or defacing public property in the course of thiscontest. (It isn’t necessary to do either tofind the silver box.) D assumes no liabilityfor any damages resulting from participation in this contest.

8. If the puzzle in the June issue doesn’tlead someone to the silver box, we’ll publish more clues in later issues until we havea winner. Good luck

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