Accessories You Didn’t Even Know You Needed

WHATS WITH ALL THIS ACCESSORIZE STUFF? WE WOULDN’T DREAM OF TELLING YOU TO ACCESSORIZE YOUR WARDROBE BECAUSE THE VERB “TO ACCESSORIZE’ DOESN’T EXIST. GO AHEAD; LOOK IT UP. YOU WON’T FIND IT. YOU’LL SEE ACCESSORIAL, ACCESSORILY AND ACCESSORINESS-ALL TERRIBLY AWKWARD WORDS-BUT YOU WON’T FIND ACCESSORIZE. WE SUSPECT A GROUP OF NEW YORK ACCESSORY BUYERS AND WOMEN’S WEAR DAILY WRITERS MADE THE WORD UP 10 YEARS AGO WHEN THEY WERE PEDDLING JESUS SANDALS, MACRAME BELTS, BEADED FEATHER EARRINGS AND CHOKERS LIKE THE ONES MISS KITTY WORE ON “GUNSMOKE.” IF YOU WERE PUSHING THAT KIND OF NONSENSE, YOU WOULDN’T THINK TWICE ABOUT INVENTING A WORD THAT JUSTIFIED WHAT YOU DO. FASHION WRITERS HAVE A PECULIAR WAY OF ACCESSORIZING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PSEUDO-WORDS LIKE “FUNTASTIC,” “BLUSH-ABLE,” “WEDGIES” AND “TROUSERETTES.” FALL BACK, SPRING FORWARD. SKIRT THE ISSUE TO BOOT. THEY EMBELLISH OUR LIVES WITH QUIRKY THINGS WE NEVER KNEW WE DIDN’T NEED. AND JUDGING BY THE WAY GIRLS IN THE HIGHLY PLACED FASHION OFFICES ARE TALKING ABOUT ACCESSORIES AND ACCESSORIZING THIS YEAR, THE FASHION FOLKS UP NORTH HAVE ACCESSORIZE MEANS HIGH-FLYING IN NATURAL YELLOW DIAMONDS FROM GEORGE MIGUEL JOAILLIER AT LOU LATTIMORE. RED SILK DRESS BY JOHN HAGGINS FROM RUE DE REVES.

ACCESSORIZE MEANS MUMMIFYING MAGIC WITH GOLD BODY SCARF BY OSCAR DE LA RENTA, AT CORA VELASCO. SCULPTURED BRASS BELT BY BONNIE BANTON FOR GOOD SHIP

ENTERPRISES, LAME CHOKER WITH METALLIC BEADS BY LAUREN J; BOTH AT LILLY DODSON. 18-KARAT GOLD AND DIAMOND EARRINGS FROM ROOM OF REAL JEWELS AT SAKOWITZ.

ACCESSORIZE MEANS FREEZING THE FRAME IN DRAMBUIE BOOTS BY PHYLLIS POIAND FROM SANGER HARRIS. TEXTURED HOSE WITH STRANDS OF GLITTER, FROM TIMOTHY’S.

BEEN DOING ONE HECK OF A HYPE JOB. THOSE PEOPLE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. THEY WANT TO MAKE BELIEVERS OUT OF YOU. BUT WE’VE NOTICED A FUNNY THING. THIS YEAR’S ACCESSORIES ARE PLAYING DOMINANT ROLES. THEY’RE UPSTAGING THE STANDARD ITEMS, THE VERY BASICS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ACCESSORIZING. MANY ACCESSORIES CAN STAND BY THEMSELVES. YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO WEAR THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK JUST AS GOOD WITHOUT YOU AS WITH. THE BELTS ARE BIGGER, SCARVES ARE BOLDER AND JEWELRY IS BECOMING SO OSTENTATIOUS THAT A NORMAL HOUSEWIFE COULD SEND HER KIDS THROUGH EUROPEAN SCHOOLS AND STILL BRING THEM HOME EVERY CHRISTMAS ON THE CASH A WEIL-ACCESSORIZED DALLAS WOMAN WEARS AROUND HER WRIST. SHOES-WHICH HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN ALL-CONSUMING PASSION FOR THE TRUE ACCESSORY-AFICIONADO- HAVE BECOME VITAL ELEMENTS AROUND WHICH ENTIRE OUTFITS HAPPEN. AND BOOTS NOWADAYS ARE NOT THINGS YOU CAN BUY A SINGLE PAIR OF-YOUVE GOT TO LINE THEM UP INSIDE YOUR CLOSET IN FIVE OR SIX DIFFERENT SHADES. WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY! WHAT A GREAT WAY TO TEST YOUR OWN FRIVOLOUSNESS. ACCESSORIZING IS A FABRICATED FORM OF SELF-EXPRESSION: “HEY BABY, I’M LIVING THE ASSIDUOUSLY ACCESSORIZED LIFE.”

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