The Thumb Awards

Thumbs Up: To Sheriff Clarence Jones for political straight talk; in his post-election commentary, when asked
why he had ever wanted to be sheriff of Dallas County in the first place, Jones replied, “I’m afraid I don’t have a
real good answer.” No wonder he lost.

Thumbs Down: To State Rep. Frank Gaston for political doubletalk; in his post-election commentary, Gaston said,
“It was a strange campaign. There were a lot of undercurrents, a lot of innuendo – the typical approach to
campaigning.” No wonder he won.

ThumbsUp: To KXTX-Channel 39 (of all people) for negotiating with the National Hockey League Network to
broadcast the NHL’s weekly Monday night hockey game beginning in January. (Finalization is, at press time, pending
advertising sales, but the arrangement is apparently almost assured.) While hockey may not be everyone’s idea of
ultimate viewing, you have to admit it beats the hell out of The 700 Club.

Thumbs Down: To the dimwit who dreamed up the season’s worst political bumper sticker: “They Can Have My Gun
When They Pry My Cold Dead Fingers Off The Trigger.”

Thumbs Off: To the Adolph Coors Brewing Company for their new Coors beer cans with the push-in tabs. True, they
will help keep our sidewalks free of aluminum rings, but for most it is easier to tolerate the sight of litter than
the sight of blood. The cans are treacherous enough under the best of circumstances, and are downright deadly under
other conditions-such as while driving a car, while in a dark place, while already intoxicated, or while intoxicated
in a dark car. It will be interesting to see how the can affects Coors’ sales: it is conceivable that some people
would actually rather drink a Falstaff than lose a thumb.


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