Dear Reader
Shared Space
 |
A few months ago, Wick and I piled our four daughters and their not-inconsiderable luggage into a rented Escalade for a road trip to New York. Mind you, we not only drove to New York, we drove back. All told, we spent some two weeks in and out of our “ride.” As we pulled out of the driveway, well-wishers predicted we would be at each other’s throats by nightfall.
Only it didn’t happen. In fact, if you ask my daughters, all teenagers, and my husband, who is…not a teenager, to describe our trip they will use words like “bliss.” Cheesy, I know, but it really was that kind of an experience.
I share this because on our driving trip I learned the powerful effect that space can have on relationships. Psychologists tell us to strive for intimacy. Yet we say “I need my space.” I don’t think that our family has ever been closer than we were for two weeks in a rented SUV. We laughed. We argued politics. We listened to the soundtrack from Garden State a dozen times, along with Broadway musicals and books on tape, and watched episodes from “The West Wing” on our portable DVD player. We played silly road games and read novels. Ultimately, our trip was not about driving to New York at all. It was about being together.
In Dallas, like any sprawling city, we are not wired for small spaces. Economic achievement begets bigger and bigger houses, with large rooms and more space for us to be distant from one another, physically and perhaps emotionally, too. I am not suggesting that we all downsize (or live in Escalades). In fact, my husband and I are in the planning stages of a complete remodel, and we intend to expand. But we will not forget the lesson we learned from spending two very magical weeks with our daughters in an SUV, side by side by side.
Upon returning to Dallas, weary to be sure, we unpacked, sorted our laundry, and read the mail. But Wick didn’t run to the office. The girls didn’t rush out the door to see their friends. Instead, for two more days, we lingered. We built fires. Watched movies. Read our novels. When Gillea, our eldest, announced she was going to see an old high school friend, we all looked up non-plussed. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll be back by midnight.” She was back in less than an hour, and we all took up again. Being together. The word that comes to mind is bliss.
Enjoy this issue and let me hear from you.
Sincerely,
Christine Allison
Editor and Publisher
[email protected]
